The biggest challenge a new parent faces typically involves dealing with the lack of sleep that comes with having a newborn. "If they will just sleep through the night," is the cry of countless young parents.
New mommies check and recheck the baby monitor fearing that it might malfunction and cause their precious baby's cries to go unheard during the night. As the months pass by the moms begin to become more comfortable and life starts to level out as that sweet baby begins to need them less and less in the middle of the night.
Around age two most parents transition their child into a big boy/girl bed and once again the obsession with the baby monitor rears its ugly head. Fearful that the child might become afraid in their new bed the mom and dad once again begin their ritual of holding the monitor to their ear to try to determine if it is functioning properly.
After a couple of non-eventful months the parents settle into a comfortable confidence that everything is going to be okay. Around this time the child masters the use of the doorknob and many times the parents wake to find a toddler face pressed against theirs saying, "You sleep Mommy?" Maybe they can't sleep, need to go potty, or want to cuddle up in bed with their parents but I think it's pretty safe to say that most parents can relate to the scenario of being wakened by the pitter patter of little feet running across the floor in the middle of the night. Once again the parents' plea is "If they would just sleep through the night!"
The three scenarios I described are pretty much universal to all parents except for a few. The ones that don't fit into that category have a special category all their own. It is called Special Needs Parenting. I have been blessed to live both scenarios.
My oldest son went through all the stages I described until there was finally no need for the coveted, sometimes hated baby monitor. My youngest son's experience has been totally different. Instead of ditching the baby bed between 18 months and two years, he stayed in his baby bed around four or five years. I was terrified he would roll off a big boy bed so he stayed in a crib until it just wasn't possible anymore. Ditching the crib was a big deal and we actually switched him from the crib to a mattress in the floor so that his fall was much shorter when he DID roll off.
Another big difference in the experiences was the obsession with the baby monitor. I really don't remember using a monitor for long with my oldest son. As soon as he learned to get out of bed and run into my room I suppose the monitor was ditched. My experience with Sweet G's monitor is totally different. I have been obsessed with G's monitor from birth until the present. We are on our second or third set of monitors. I still hold the monitor close to my ear almost every night listening for the slight sound of a sigh or grunt as Sweet G moves around in his bed.
My child is ten and a half years old and I still live in terror of a malfunctioning monitor. I have good cause to worry because we have had several mishaps after the monitor failed to alert me to my child's calls in the night. Sweet G is totally dependent on others to see to his midnight runs to the bathroom. He is unable to get out of his bed and make it to the bathroom and back independently. I have been awakened by his screams from the other end of the house on more than one occasion and several times I've woken in the morning to find him lying cold and wet after spending the night in the floor soaked in his own urine because I was unable to hear his requests for help during the night. He calls to us in fear of falling off the bed or sometimes because the covers have become tangled around his legs.
I'm not telling this story to get sympathy or admiration. I don't write it out of the regret of being a special needs parent. I would not trade my experience as G's mom for anything in this world. His disability is a part of who he is and if I hate it then I basically hate him and that could never be possible. He has the sweetest spirit, the quickest wit, and the determination of an Olympian. He loves deep, he is faithful to the end, and he is my inspiration. I simply want others to understand that each persons path is different. You never know what its like to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. But maybe if you stop and think about it you might understand a little more about the people around you.
So, for the tenth year, fourth month, and 19th day I will lay in my bed listening to the hum of a baby monitor. I strain to listen, hoping that it will be reliable and provide me with that connection to my child as he sleeps.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Climbing Out On the Crashing Waves
A little boy sits crying because he can't be in the sack race. Tears create streaks down his dirty little cheeks as the wash away the dust from a hot summer day. "Why can't I be in the race?" he sobs.
"Buddy, you just can't be in the race," his mother answers.
"But why can't I Momma? I can do it! Just watch me! I'll show you I can do it!"
"It's too hard. You just can't do it. You have to be able to jump to play that game."
"I CAN jump! Let me show you that I can," he pleads.
"I wish that you could but you just can't. You have CP. Your body just won't do that."
Through sobs he manages to say, "I wish CP didn't exist! I wish I hadn't been born with CP!"
I've dreaded hearing those words for over 10 years. I knew that someday I'd hear them. It was inevitable. The surprising part is that they haven't been said before. Most kids realize their limitations much younger but Sweet G is different. There is nothing average about my Sweet G. He looks at life through a different window than most of us. His spirit is strong and true. He is kind and good. Anything is possible in his eyes.
As a small baby his favorite song was Dream Big by Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband. I remember thinking how cool it was that he loved that song so much because with his disability he was going to need to be able to Dream Big. I began to think of the words as a prayer for him.
As he got a little older his favorite song changed to The Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns. That song gave me so much hope and peace and again I prayed those words as we sang them together.
For the most part we have Dreamed Big and listened to the Voice of Truth but every now and then I have forgotten to have big dreams and sometimes I've listened as the giant says, "He'll never win." But not Sweet G, that is, not until today. Today he realized that dreams aren't always enough and in his weakness he took his eyes off of Jesus, focused on the waves crashing all around him, and listened as the giant laughed and said, "Boy, you'll never win."
One thing I know is that although Sweet G had a moment of weakness tonight, tomorrow will be a different story. Tomorrow we will stop and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over G as He says, "Do not be afraid. This is for My glory," and out of all the voices calling out we will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth!
"Buddy, you just can't be in the race," his mother answers.
"But why can't I Momma? I can do it! Just watch me! I'll show you I can do it!"
"It's too hard. You just can't do it. You have to be able to jump to play that game."
"I CAN jump! Let me show you that I can," he pleads.
"I wish that you could but you just can't. You have CP. Your body just won't do that."
Through sobs he manages to say, "I wish CP didn't exist! I wish I hadn't been born with CP!"
I've dreaded hearing those words for over 10 years. I knew that someday I'd hear them. It was inevitable. The surprising part is that they haven't been said before. Most kids realize their limitations much younger but Sweet G is different. There is nothing average about my Sweet G. He looks at life through a different window than most of us. His spirit is strong and true. He is kind and good. Anything is possible in his eyes.
As a small baby his favorite song was Dream Big by Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband. I remember thinking how cool it was that he loved that song so much because with his disability he was going to need to be able to Dream Big. I began to think of the words as a prayer for him.
When you cry be sure to dry your eyes
'Cause better days are sure to come
And when you smile be sure to smile wide
Don't let them know that they have won
And when you walk, walk with pride
Don't show the hurt inside
Because the pain will soon be gone
And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big
When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud
'Cause it will carry all your cares away
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself
And it'll help you feel okay
And when you pray, pray for strength
To help you carry on
When the troubles come your way
And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big
As he got a little older his favorite song changed to The Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns. That song gave me so much hope and peace and again I prayed those words as we sang them together.
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again "boy, you'll never win!
"You'll never win"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
For the most part we have Dreamed Big and listened to the Voice of Truth but every now and then I have forgotten to have big dreams and sometimes I've listened as the giant says, "He'll never win." But not Sweet G, that is, not until today. Today he realized that dreams aren't always enough and in his weakness he took his eyes off of Jesus, focused on the waves crashing all around him, and listened as the giant laughed and said, "Boy, you'll never win."
One thing I know is that although Sweet G had a moment of weakness tonight, tomorrow will be a different story. Tomorrow we will stop and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over G as He says, "Do not be afraid. This is for My glory," and out of all the voices calling out we will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth!
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Animal Activists on Attack
Lately Facebook is often overrun with pictures of dogs and cats needing adoption. Some of those pictures tug at my heart strings making me want to load up and go bring those sweet babies home with me. That is because in that moment I am thinking with my heart and not my head. When I step back and take into consideration how full my life is and how much responsibility pet ownership brings I am able to control my desire to rescue those poor animals.
Recently there was a story in the local news about a dog being dragged behind a truck. People are outraged. Comments have even been made that the man should receive the same fate as the dog. I am in no way an animal hater and do not believe in animal neglect or abuse but from what I've read this was just a terrible accident. The dog had gotten loose while the owner was cooking dinner so he tied the dog to the bumper of his truck until he had time to secure the dog in his pen. Becoming distracted by the task of attending the meal he was cooking on his grill he forgot about the dog.
Later, realizing that something was needed to complete the meal he asks his friend to run to the store. The friend gets into the truck and drives the almost 2 mile distance to the store, goes inside and picks up his items and lays them on the counter. An angry crowd gathers outside and someone comes inside the store to find the owner of the truck. A bystander helps load the injured dog into the back of the truck and the man returns to the store to pay for the items he left on the counter.
Now I'm not exactly sure why the man reacted the way he did. Why did he return to pay for his purchase? Why did he quickly load the dog and refuse to turn the dog over to those angry people? Whatever his reasons that is the story. He left the store and drove back to his friend's house with his friend's dog badly injured if not already dead.
I have tried to put myself in his place. Maybe he was in total shock. Here he was trying to help his friend out only to discover he's now killed his friend's dog. He is surrounded by angry people who are accusing him of animal neglect and abuse. He's probably thinking about having to break the news that he's just killed his friend's dog. I don't know what was going through his mind but the point is that neither do those people who are calling for the man to be charged with a crime and taken to trial. The police interviewed the man as well as the owner of the truck and dog and deemed it an unfortunate accident. That should be the end of it but no way are those animal rescue fanatics going to let the police tell them it was an accident! They have called big bad PETA and they are conducting their own "investigation".
According to those nuts it is the responsibility of the driver of a vehicle to:
1. walk around your entire car to ensure nobody has tied an animal to your bumper.
2. get down on hands and knees to confirm there are no animals laying under, around, or near your car that you might possibly run over.
3. As an extra precaution you should probably take a look on all four tires and check under the hood since cats have been known to curl up against car engines. Then about thirty minutes after these security measures you will be free to begin your drive.
4. Now don't go thinking you are safe yet because I have noticed a few dead squirrels laying in the road lately so you should drive really slow with your head sticking out the window announcing your progress to any unsuspecting wildlife in the area!
And for goodness sake please remember to repeat all the steps listed above at every stop sign, red light, and before beginning your return trip home because it is possible that an animal could approach your car while you are stopped.
Its a sad world we live in when people are more concerned over the well being of an animal than that of a human. I'm not saying animal rescuers are all nuts but if there are any sane ones out there I'd sure like to hear your take on this story. I'm sorry but those loudmouth animal rescuers and PETA people are giving animal lovers a bad reputation.
Recently there was a story in the local news about a dog being dragged behind a truck. People are outraged. Comments have even been made that the man should receive the same fate as the dog. I am in no way an animal hater and do not believe in animal neglect or abuse but from what I've read this was just a terrible accident. The dog had gotten loose while the owner was cooking dinner so he tied the dog to the bumper of his truck until he had time to secure the dog in his pen. Becoming distracted by the task of attending the meal he was cooking on his grill he forgot about the dog.
Later, realizing that something was needed to complete the meal he asks his friend to run to the store. The friend gets into the truck and drives the almost 2 mile distance to the store, goes inside and picks up his items and lays them on the counter. An angry crowd gathers outside and someone comes inside the store to find the owner of the truck. A bystander helps load the injured dog into the back of the truck and the man returns to the store to pay for the items he left on the counter.
Now I'm not exactly sure why the man reacted the way he did. Why did he return to pay for his purchase? Why did he quickly load the dog and refuse to turn the dog over to those angry people? Whatever his reasons that is the story. He left the store and drove back to his friend's house with his friend's dog badly injured if not already dead.
I have tried to put myself in his place. Maybe he was in total shock. Here he was trying to help his friend out only to discover he's now killed his friend's dog. He is surrounded by angry people who are accusing him of animal neglect and abuse. He's probably thinking about having to break the news that he's just killed his friend's dog. I don't know what was going through his mind but the point is that neither do those people who are calling for the man to be charged with a crime and taken to trial. The police interviewed the man as well as the owner of the truck and dog and deemed it an unfortunate accident. That should be the end of it but no way are those animal rescue fanatics going to let the police tell them it was an accident! They have called big bad PETA and they are conducting their own "investigation".
According to those nuts it is the responsibility of the driver of a vehicle to:
1. walk around your entire car to ensure nobody has tied an animal to your bumper.
2. get down on hands and knees to confirm there are no animals laying under, around, or near your car that you might possibly run over.
3. As an extra precaution you should probably take a look on all four tires and check under the hood since cats have been known to curl up against car engines. Then about thirty minutes after these security measures you will be free to begin your drive.
4. Now don't go thinking you are safe yet because I have noticed a few dead squirrels laying in the road lately so you should drive really slow with your head sticking out the window announcing your progress to any unsuspecting wildlife in the area!
And for goodness sake please remember to repeat all the steps listed above at every stop sign, red light, and before beginning your return trip home because it is possible that an animal could approach your car while you are stopped.
Its a sad world we live in when people are more concerned over the well being of an animal than that of a human. I'm not saying animal rescuers are all nuts but if there are any sane ones out there I'd sure like to hear your take on this story. I'm sorry but those loudmouth animal rescuers and PETA people are giving animal lovers a bad reputation.
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