Always Improving

This semester I was given two big assignments. One was a math case study and the other was a reading case study. The math assignment required me to pre-test a student, find an error pattern in their work, develop strategies and teach them to the student. For the reading assignment I used several different assessment tools to find the student's reading level and any areas they may be having difficulty with. The assessments took up most of the time I had to spend with the students that I was assigned to work with so I have been apprehensive about how much improvement they have made.

I completed the math case study last week. The results were amazing. The student went from getting 2 out of 16 problems correct to getting 16 out of 16 problems correct. This was the easier assignment. It only required me to pinpoint one concept or procedural error the student had and help them improve in that area.

The reading assignment was the more difficult of the two. It took longer to assess the student for reading. Several different tests had to be administered and each test took a significant amount of time to complete. This only left me with about 2.5 hours (total) to "teach" the student and tutor him/her in reading. I was not sure how much improvement I would see, if any. I am almost completely finished with the assessments and I am shocked. The student has definitely made significant improvements. I, by no means take full credit for this improvement but do like to believe that I did contribute to this growth. The student is also recieving reading intervention daily from a reading teacher.

My amazement is from the great change such little effort and time on the part of me and the other teacher has provided to this child. It is a huge reminder that our actions do matter. We affect people good, or bad, whether we want to or not. No man is an island. It is my wish to do good in my lifetime and to leave the world better than I found it. Thank you God for placing me where you have at this time and in this place. Use me to touch those around me and make me ever mindful of the impact You are able to make in someone's life through me. Remind me constantly that You are always improving me and those around me by Your Grace.

Always Improving

This semester I was given two big assignments. One was a math case study and the other was a reading case study. The math assignment required me to pre-test a student, find an error pattern in their work, develop strategies and teach them to the student. For the reading assignment I used several different assessment tools to find the student's reading level and any areas they may be having difficulty with. The assessments took up most of the time I had to spend with the students that I was assigned to work with so I have been apprehensive about how much improvement they have made.

I completed the math case study last week. The results were amazing. The student went from getting 2 out of 16 problems correct to getting 16 out of 16 problems correct. This was the easier assignment. It only required me to pinpoint one concept or procedural error the student had and help them improve in that area.

The reading assignment was the more difficult of the two. It took longer to assess the student for reading. Several different tests had to be administered and each test took a significant amount of time to complete. This only left me with about 2.5 hours (total) to "teach" the student and tutor him/her in reading. I was not sure how much improvement I would see, if any. I am almost completely finished with the assessments and I am shocked. The student has definitely made significant improvements. I, by no means take full credit for this improvement but do like to believe that I did contribute to this growth. The student is also recieving reading intervention daily from a reading teacher.

My amazement is from the great change such little effort and time on the part of me and the other teacher has provided to this child. It is a huge reminder that our actions do matter. We affect people good, or bad, whether we want to or not. No man is an island. It is my wish to do good in my lifetime and to leave the world better than I found it. Thank you God for placing me where you have at this time and in this place. Use me to touch those around me and make me ever mindful of the impact You are able to make in someone's life through me. Remind me constantly that You are always improving me and those around me by Your Grace.

Perfect Summer Day

It is a beautiful day in the summer of 1982. A sixteen year old girl looks anxiously down a country road looking for a car to come into view.  Puffy white clouds gently move across a sky that is the clearest, most beautiful shade of blue. There is a gentle wind blowing wisps of hair across her face. Rays of sunlight dance around her as if they too are celebrating his return. The birds are sweetly chirping because the girl's joy has surrounded them and provided them with the inspiration for their songs.

 
 

Time seems to stand still as she waits to see the one she has been missing for weeks. Finally, a car comes into view. The anticipation builds in the young girl and her heartbeat quickens as the car approaches. After what seems like an eternity he steps from the car. He is still dressed in the BDUs he wore that morning during his graduation ceremony on the parade grounds of Ft. Knox, Kentucky. His hair is cut close and is filled with highlights added by the many long hours he has spent in the sun. That same sunlight has provided his skin with the perfect glow. His green eyes smile as they look directly into her soul.

 

His strong arms encircle her waist and draw her close for a long awaited kiss. Finally they are reunited, and all is right again. Her days will no longer be filled with trips to the mailbox and long hours looking for something to occupy her time without him. The remainder of her days will be spent with him, laughing, crying, fighting, forgiving, rejoicing, celebrating, loving, and remembering the perfect summer day she spent waiting for him to return.

Perfect Summer Day

It is a beautiful day in the summer of 1982. A sixteen year old girl searches anxiously down a country road looking for a car to come into view. Puffy white clouds gently move across a sky that is the clearest, most beautiful shade of blue. There is a gentle wind blowing wisps of hair across her face. Rays of sunlight dance around her as if they too are celebrating his return. The birds are sweetly chirping because the girl's joy has surrounded them and provided them with the inspiration for their songs.

Time seems to stand still as she waits to see the one she has been missing for weeks. Finally, a car comes into view. The anticipation builds in the young girl and her heartbeat quickens as the car approaches. After what seems like an eternity he steps from the car. He is still dressed in the BDUs he wore that morning during his graduation ceremony on the parade grounds of Ft. Knox, Kentucky. His hair is cut close and is filled with highlights added by the many long hours he has spent in the sun. That same sunlight has provided his skin with the perfect glow. His green eyes smile as they look directly into her soul.

His strong arms encircle her waist and draw her close for a long awaited kiss. Finally they are reunited, and all is right again. Her days will no longer be filled with trips to the mailbox and long hours looking for something to occupy her time without him. The remainder of her days will be spent with him, laughing, crying, fighting, forgiving, rejoicing, celebrating, loving, and remembering the perfect summer day she spent waiting for him to return.

The Moon Made Me Do It??

Why is it when you determine to live closer to Christ that you always get on a slippery slope? This weekend I found myself spinning out of control. I am either loosing my mind, going through menopause, or possessed. Since I am a Christian I know that I am not possessed, although I think I've been carrying around a fallen angel for the past few days. I know that my family has expected to see my head spin around at any moment. In fact it acrually may have while no one was watching.

I would blame my behavior on the moon, but there hasn't been a full moon and there isn't going to be a full moon for a couple of weeks (December 2 to be exact). Oh, well I guess I have to take full responsibiltiy for my unacceptable behavior. I have been short tempered (even shorter tempered than usual). I appologize to my three precious men. I love each of you with all of my heart. Just hang in there and maybe the more civilized version of me will return by the end of the month and the semester.

The Moon Made Me Do It??

Why is it when you determine to live closer to Christ that you always get on a slippery slope? This weekend I found myself spinning out of control. I am either loosing my mind, going through menopause, or possessed. Since I am a Christian I know that I am not possessed, although I think I've been carrying around a fallen angel for the past few days. I know that my family has expected to see my head spin around at any moment. In fact it acrually may have while no one was watching.

I would blame my behavior on the moon, but there hasn't been a full moon and there isn't going to be a full moon for a couple of weeks (December 2 to be exact). Oh, well I guess I have to take full responsibiltiy for my unacceptable behavior. I have been short tempered (even shorter tempered than usual). I appologize to my three precious men. I love each of you with all of my heart. Just hang in there and maybe the more civilized version of me will return by the end of the month and the semester.

Acceptable Behavior

hyp·o·crite

Pronunciation: \ˈhi-pə-ˌkrit\Function: noun Etymology: Middle English ypocrite, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin hypocrita, from Greek hypokritēs actor, hypocrite, from hypokrinesthai Date: 13th century

1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

Today has been a tough day for me and tonight I feel like such a hypocrite.  My attitude and actions
have not aligned with the convictions or goals I have set for myself. A series of unimportant and insignificant events sent me into a tailspin this morning. I behaved foolishly. I cried over lost keys and glasses that I carelessly left behind when I headed out to face my day. I unloaded all my frustrations on the closest and safest person in my life when I should have turned to Jesus.

Why is it that we so soon forget the goodness that our lives are filled with when things don't go our way? Lord, help me to turn to You when I feel lost, defeated, and overwhelmed.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalm 19:14 (King James Version)~

Acceptable Behavior

hyp·o·crite

Pronunciation: \ˈhi-pə-ˌkrit\Function: noun Etymology: Middle English ypocrite, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin hypocrita, from Greek hypokritēs actor, hypocrite, from hypokrinesthai Date: 13th century

1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

Today has been a tough day for me and tonight I feel like such a hypocrite.  My attitude and actions
have not aligned with the convictions or goals I have set for myself. A series of unimportant and insignificant events sent me into a tailspin this morning. I behaved foolishly. I cried over lost keys and glasses that I carelessly left behind when I headed out to face my day. I unloaded all my frustrations on the closest and safest person in my life when I should have turned to Jesus.

Why is it that we so soon forget the goodness that our lives are filled with when things don't go our way? Lord, help me to turn to You when I feel lost, defeated, and overwhelmed.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. ~Psalm 19:14 (King James Version)~

Ande Needs Her Groove Back

There have been times in the past 5 years that I have felt like I have been stumbling through life in the dark. This is one of those times. I have experienced many emotions, however, the major emotion I have experienced has been disbelief. I find myself asking time and again, "how did I get to this place?" Recent years have found me traveling down winding, twisting, and sometimes scary paths.

I don't want to lead you to believe that there has been only sorrow over this time. On the contrary, there have been many more good times than bad, the blessings I have experienced were exponentially more than the curses, and most of the time I have been very content where I have been.That is where the problem lies.

As a child of God I am not supposed to be content as I am. I am to desire to be better, to seek a closer relationship with my Savior. I am sorry to say that I have been so afraid of drowning that I have stayed in the boat instead of stepping out to a waiting Jesus. I have spent way too much time looking back and mourning things past. I have failed to reach out to those around me and instead occupied myself with other things. I have failed to seek Jesus' view of my future.

The great news is that each day I am given a fresh start. Things will never be "normal" again in the way that they once were. My life has turned in a different direction. I have lost many close friends and loved ones along the way but I have also gained many new friends and have had some of the best experiences of my life.

Somehow we humans tend to think there is a point of arrival. We aim for a destination, get comfortable when we arrive and set up camp. The problem is that is not how life works. Life is a living, changing, evolving thing. Each day brings its own challenges and blessings. Things never stay the same; not for long anyway. After all, how much fun would that be anyway?

Ande Needs Her Groove Back

There have been times in the past 5 years that I have felt like I have been stumbling through life in the dark. This is one of those times. I have experienced many emotions, however, the major emotion I have experienced has been disbelief. I find myself asking time and again, "how did I get to this place?" Recent years have found me traveling down winding, twisting, and sometimes scary paths.

I don't want to lead you to believe that there has been only sorrow over this time. On the contrary, there have been many more good times than bad, the blessings I have experienced were exponentially more than the curses, and most of the time I have been very content where I have been.That is where the problem lies.

As a child of God I am not supposed to be content as I am. I am to desire to be better, to seek a closer relationship with my Savior. I am sorry to say that I have been so afraid of drowning that I have stayed in the boat instead of stepping out to a waiting Jesus. I have spent way too much time looking back and mourning things past. I have failed to reach out to those around me and instead occupied myself with other things. I have failed to seek Jesus' view of my future.

The great news is that each day I am given a fresh start. Things will never be "normal" again in the way that they once were. My life has turned in a different direction. I have lost many close friends and loved ones along the way but I have also gained many new friends and have had some of the best experiences of my life.

Somehow we humans tend to think there is a point of arrival. We aim for a destination, get comfortable when we arrive and set up camp. The problem is that is not how life works. Life is a living, changing, evolving thing. Each day brings its own challenges and blessings. Things never stay the same; not for long anyway. After all, how much fun would that be anyway?

My Special Boy

After reading the blogs of several mothers of special needs children I felt compelled to express my feelings about being the parent of a special needs child. The most difficult part of being a special needs parent is not my personal losses or sacrifices. The things that I do are no different than the things other parents do. Parents make sacrifices for their children everyday. Some parents sit on cold, hard bleachers watching their child play football. Some sit in the hot sun all summer long at countless baseball games. Countless mothers leave the mall with bags full of things that do not belong to them. Adult feet stop growing. . . children's feet don't. I am sure that those parents don't look at what they do as sacrificial acts. They do those things because they love their children and get enjoyment in providing their child the opportunity to do the things they enjoy.
Parents of special needs children take their children to therapy not because they have to but because they want to give thier child what he or she needs. We build contraptions to make life easier or adapt something that doesn't suit the needs of our family. We create elaborate Halloween Costumes for wheelchairs because we want our child to feel special and experience fun things.

Now I am not saying that being the parent of a special needs child is not challenging, but isn't being the parent of a "normal" typically developing child difficult at times? We simply face different challenges.

I must admit that there are times when I encounter the exasperated parent chasing their child through the doctor's office and have a tinge of jealousy. It is heartbreaking when they turn to their child and say, "why can't you sit nicely like that little boy?" Oh, if you only knew. Don't misunderstand, I don't experience regrets for the losses I face. I grieve over the struggles my child must face for the rest of his life. However, these experiences are outnumbered greatly by the many joys of parenting a special needs child. Most of the time I am overcome by the blessing God granted me when he chose me to be G's mother. I find myself asking, "Why me, Lord? What did I do to deserve such a wonderful child? How could You trust me with such an awsome responsibility?"

Through this entire journey I have experienced a peace that passes all understanding. Yes, I have shed more than my share of tears when I am faced with yet another difficult decision that I feel unequiped to make. I have had to exchange my hopes and dreams for different ones. I have met many wonderful people and have been blessed to meet many special children.

My son is loved by many people and I take great comfort in knowing that. God has taken what the world sees as bad and has used it for good just as He promised in His Word. He graciously presently me with a gift I didn't know I wanted and changed me forever. I know that parents are supposed to teach their children, but G teaches me much more than I could ever teach him. That is what being a special needs parent means to me.

My Special Boy

After reading the blogs of several mothers of special needs children I felt compelled to express my feelings about being the parent of a special needs child. The most difficult part of being a special needs parent is not my personal losses or sacrifices. The things that I do are no different than the things other parents do. Parents make sacrifices for their children everyday. Some parents sit on cold, hard bleachers watching their child play football. Some sit in the hot sun all summer long at countless baseball games. Countless mothers leave the mall with bags full of things that do not belong to them. Adult feet stop growing. . . children's feet don't. I am sure that those parents don't look at what they do as sacrificial acts. They do those things because they love their children and get enjoyment in providing their child the opportunity to do the things they enjoy.
Parents of special needs children take their children to therapy not because they have to but because they want to give thier child what he or she needs. We build contraptions to make life easier or adapt something that doesn't suit the needs of our family. We create elaborate Halloween Costumes for wheelchairs because we want our child to feel special and experience fun things.

Now I am not saying that being the parent of a special needs child is not challenging, but isn't being the parent of a "normal" typically developing child difficult at times? We simply face different challenges.

I must admit that there are times when I encounter the exasperated parent chasing their child through the doctor's office and have a tinge of jealousy. It is heartbreaking when they turn to their child and say, "why can't you sit nicely like that little boy?" Oh, if you only knew. Don't misunderstand, I don't experience regrets for the losses I face. I grieve over the struggles my child must face for the rest of his life. However, these experiences are outnumbered greatly by the many joys of parenting a special needs child. Most of the time I am overcome by the blessing God granted me when he chose me to be G's mother. I find myself asking, "Why me, Lord? What did I do to deserve such a wonderful child? How could You trust me with such an awsome responsibility?"

Through this entire journey I have experienced a peace that passes all understanding. Yes, I have shed more than my share of tears when I am faced with yet another difficult decision that I feel unequiped to make. I have had to exchange my hopes and dreams for different ones. I have met many wonderful people and have been blessed to meet many special children.

My son is loved by many people and I take great comfort in knowing that. God has taken what the world sees as bad and has used it for good just as He promised in His Word. He graciously presently me with a gift I didn't know I wanted and changed me forever. I know that parents are supposed to teach their children, but G teaches me much more than I could ever teach him. That is what being a special needs parent means to me.

Voices From the Past

I am a 10 year old little girl.
I have just gotten into bed for the night.
I hear the call of my sister from across the hall as she says, "Night Mama."
Mama's answer to her is followed by my brother as he calls out from his room.
Back and forth we each say our good-night wishes to each other.

Quiet falls over the house. It is then that it happens.
Someone, not always the same one, calls out, "Goodnight, John Boy."
A refrain of Goodnight Irene follows, this time coming from another room.
It didn't happen every night but it happened often.

If I lay very still and quiet in my bed tonight I can faintly make out those voices from the past.
Oh, how I would love to lay safely in that little girl bed one more time and hear the sounds of the house as it settles. Nothing to worry about but the games I would play when tomorrow arrived. Snug and safe in a house with the doors standing wide open as we slept.

The freshly washed sheets I lay on are crisp and smooth. They are filled with the smell of the sunshine and wind that dried them. I watch the shadow of a moth flitter across the ceiling above my bed. Crickets sing a lullaby written especially for me as the whipporwhils join in on the chorus. Everything else is still and quiet. There are no human sounds except the sound of my daddy's snores dancing down the hall to my room.

I wonder if my sons will hold memories like these from their childhood? Have I provided the same safe, warm, loving environment that I experienced as a child? Will their memories bring joy to them as they lay in their beds 30 years from now? Will they long for one more story read to them by a mother who loves them dearly? Will they fondly remember the things that today are merely routine tasks? I pray that God reminds me daily to create a memory for my boys. May I be purposeful in my relationships with those around me and supply my loved ones with precious memories to keep them company for many years to come.

Voices From the Past

I am a 10 year old little girl.
I have just gotten into bed for the night.
I hear the call of my sister from across the hall as she says, "Night Mama."
Mama's answer to her is followed by my brother as he calls out from his room.
Back and forth we each say our good-night wishes to each other.

Quiet falls over the house. It is then that it happens.
Someone, not always the same one, calls out, "Goodnight, John Boy."
A refrain of Goodnight Irene follows, this time coming from another room.
It didn't happen every night but it happened often.

If I lay very still and quiet in my bed tonight I can faintly make out those voices from the past.
Oh, how I would love to lay safely in that little girl bed one more time and hear the sounds of the house as it settles. Nothing to worry about but the games I would play when tomorrow arrived. Snug and safe in a house with the doors standing wide open as we slept.

The freshly washed sheets I lay on are crisp and smooth. They are filled with the smell of the sunshine and wind that dried them. I watch the shadow of a moth flitter across the ceiling above my bed. Crickets sing a lullaby written especially for me as the whipporwhils join in on the chorus. Everything else is still and quiet. There are no human sounds except the sound of my daddy's snores dancing down the hall to my room.

I wonder if my sons will hold memories like these from their childhood? Have I provided the same safe, warm, loving environment that I experienced as a child? Will their memories bring joy to them as they lay in their beds 30 years from now? Will they long for one more story read to them by a mother who loves them dearly? Will they fondly remember the things that today are merely routine tasks? I pray that God reminds me daily to create a memory for my boys. May I be purposeful in my relationships with those around me and supply my loved ones with precious memories to keep them company for many years to come.