Have you ever been in a no win situation? At some point I think we all are faced with impossible situations. We are forced to decide whether we will follow the popular path of those around us or take the less traveled path we know is honorable and true. In choosing you either go against those you love or compromise your principles.
It is possible to disagree with the actions of a person and still love them. I know because I have learned that lesson many times over through personal experience. Those who disagree with my inability to bury my head in the sand and ignore the obvious would disagree. They would tell you that the fact they are willing to ignore the handwriting on the wall means that their love is the genuine love. That simply is not true. It is possible to love someone and not agree with their actions. Loving someone doesn't mean you have to overlook things you know are wrong in an attempt to protect or support the person.
There comes a point when you must choose between what is right and what is popular. For too many years things have been swept under the family rug. Skeletons have been pushed into the back of closets all in the name of love. Is that love of family or love of self? Fear that someone would judge me for the choices of another. We sacrificed the wellbeing of one of our own to keep peace. That is not love-it is disfunction. What started as a tiny scratch has become a vile gangrene infected mess that can no longer be hidden beneath a band-aid.
I find it sad but amusing that as a Christian when I show concern and reach out to someone in love I am labeled a hypocrite but when I speak the truth I am told that I lack compassion.
Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.
Mohandas Gandhi
Monday, February 28, 2011
For Love or Truth
Have you ever been in a no win situation? At some point I think we all are faced with impossible situations. We are forced to decide whether we will follow the popular path of those around us or take the less traveled path we know is honorable and true. In choosing you either go against those you love or compromise your principles.
It is possible to disagree with the actions of a person and still love them. I know because I have learned that lesson many times over through personal experience. Those who disagree with my inability to bury my head in the sand and ignore the obvious would disagree. They would tell you that the fact they are willing to ignore the handwriting on the wall means that their love is the genuine love. That simply is not true. It is possible to love someone and not agree with their actions. Loving someone doesn't mean you have to overlook things you know are wrong in an attempt to protect or support the person.
There comes a point when you must choose between what is right and what is popular. For too many years things have been swept under the family rug. Skeletons have been pushed into the back of closets all in the name of love. Is that love of family or love of self? Fear that someone would judge me for the choices of another. We sacrificed the wellbeing of one of our own to keep peace. That is not love-it is disfunction. What started as a tiny scratch has become a vile gangrene infected mess that can no longer be hidden beneath a band-aid.
I find it sad but amusing that as a Christian when I show concern and reach out to someone in love I am labeled a hypocrite but when I speak the truth I am told that I lack compassion.
Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.
Mohandas Gandhi
It is possible to disagree with the actions of a person and still love them. I know because I have learned that lesson many times over through personal experience. Those who disagree with my inability to bury my head in the sand and ignore the obvious would disagree. They would tell you that the fact they are willing to ignore the handwriting on the wall means that their love is the genuine love. That simply is not true. It is possible to love someone and not agree with their actions. Loving someone doesn't mean you have to overlook things you know are wrong in an attempt to protect or support the person.
There comes a point when you must choose between what is right and what is popular. For too many years things have been swept under the family rug. Skeletons have been pushed into the back of closets all in the name of love. Is that love of family or love of self? Fear that someone would judge me for the choices of another. We sacrificed the wellbeing of one of our own to keep peace. That is not love-it is disfunction. What started as a tiny scratch has become a vile gangrene infected mess that can no longer be hidden beneath a band-aid.
I find it sad but amusing that as a Christian when I show concern and reach out to someone in love I am labeled a hypocrite but when I speak the truth I am told that I lack compassion.
Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.
Mohandas Gandhi
Sunday, February 27, 2011
A Time to Plant
This afternoon we made a trip to Wally World to pick up some food items our son wanted to take back to college. Shortly after arriving my husband received a text reminding him of a meeting he was scheduled to attend at church. There was exactly 25 minutes to finish shopping, drive all the way across town to take us home, and then my hubby would then have to drive himself back within a mile or so of where we were shopping. It just wasn't possible. So, I suggested that my husband and son finish gathering the college snacks, leave me and Sweet G and return for us after the "30 minute" meeting was over. Time is obviously different to men and women because the meeting lasted much longer!
Things started off rather well. I let G hold a Jeff Dunham DVD while I wheeled him around the store looking at things. I haven't been out of the house much in the past 6 weeks and it has been months since I have just looked around in a store. I ended up making it through all my favorite sections of the store before I thought about the garden center. The weather has been nice and warm for over a week now and it is definitely time to start thinking about spring planting.
We just had the sidewalk that led to nowhere ripped out last week and now have a new sidewalk that actually ends at our front door! We have been discussing ideas for the now new and larger planting area so I headed to look for flower bulbs. I found some great deals! I have always wanted some peonies but never seem to remember at planting time. That is, until today!
I found these!
These are beautiful!
I like these too!
Pretty Pink Perfection!
I miss these from the old house!
I can't wait to see these!
Anxiously Awaiting these beauties!
Bleeding hearts amaze me.
I think my garden is going to be very pink!
A Time to Plant
This afternoon we made a trip to Wally World to pick up some food items our son wanted to take back to college. Shortly after arriving my husband received a text reminding him of a meeting he was scheduled to attend at church. There was exactly 25 minutes to finish shopping, drive all the way across town to take us home, and then my hubby would then have to drive himself back within a mile or so of where we were shopping. It just wasn't possible. So, I suggested that my husband and son finish gathering the college snacks, leave me and Sweet G and return for us after the "30 minute" meeting was over. Time is obviously different to men and women because the meeting lasted much longer!
Things started off rather well. I let G hold a Jeff Dunham DVD while I wheeled him around the store looking at things. I haven't been out of the house much in the past 6 weeks and it has been months since I have just looked around in a store. I ended up making it through all my favorite sections of the store before I thought about the garden center. The weather has been nice and warm for over a week now and it is definitely time to start thinking about spring planting.
We just had the sidewalk that led to nowhere ripped out last week and now have a new sidewalk that actually ends at our front door! We have been discussing ideas for the now new and larger planting area so I headed to look for flower bulbs. I found some great deals! I have always wanted some peonies but never seem to remember at planting time. That is, until today!
I found these!
These are beautiful!
I like these too!
Pretty Pink Perfection!
I miss these from the old house!
I can't wait to see these!
Anxiously Awaiting these beauties!
Bleeding hearts amaze me.
I think my garden is going to be very pink!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Is My Brain Okay Or Could I Have Alzheimer's
I found this on another blog. I typically do not repost the blogs of others but I thought this test was kind of cool and we all worry to some degree if we are loosing our minds at times. Try it yourself and see how you do.
Is My Brain Okay Or Could I Have Alzheimer's
I found this on another blog. I typically do not repost the blogs of others but I thought this test was kind of cool and we all worry to some degree if we are loosing our minds at times. Try it yourself and see how you do.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
His Plans
It is hard to believe but it was 4 weeks ago today that Sweet G had his tendon lengthening surgeries. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that he would be in full leg casts for 6 weeks--it just seemed like an impossible task to make it through. Tonight as I look back it doesn't seem as if it has been that long. We all adapted quickly to our new normal and the time has flown by.
In 2 weeks we will begin stage two of this big adventure. The casts will be cut off and two tiny legs will once again be free! Although he is going stir crazy being confined I fear that the hardest part is still to come. My patience is wearing thin, school has been challenging at best, and I just am not looking forward to the four therapy sessions a week for three months.
I am excited at the possibilities for improvement in G's mobility but am anxious that he will freak when he stands--or attempts to stand-- on those new and weakened legs. That is the hardest part of being a parent of a special needs child or any child really--the unknown. What does the future hold? The future might be filled with great accomplishments or with difficult days full of disappointment. I try to look optimistically into the future trusting that whatever happens is in God's hands. He knows what tomorrow holds and isn't surprised, anxious, or dismayed by what He sees. My prayer is that I will look at every day through the eyes of God and trust that His plans are much better than my plans could ever be.
In 2 weeks we will begin stage two of this big adventure. The casts will be cut off and two tiny legs will once again be free! Although he is going stir crazy being confined I fear that the hardest part is still to come. My patience is wearing thin, school has been challenging at best, and I just am not looking forward to the four therapy sessions a week for three months.
I am excited at the possibilities for improvement in G's mobility but am anxious that he will freak when he stands--or attempts to stand-- on those new and weakened legs. That is the hardest part of being a parent of a special needs child or any child really--the unknown. What does the future hold? The future might be filled with great accomplishments or with difficult days full of disappointment. I try to look optimistically into the future trusting that whatever happens is in God's hands. He knows what tomorrow holds and isn't surprised, anxious, or dismayed by what He sees. My prayer is that I will look at every day through the eyes of God and trust that His plans are much better than my plans could ever be.
His Plans
It is hard to believe but it was 4 weeks ago today that Sweet G had his tendon lengthening surgeries. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that he would be in full leg casts for 6 weeks--it just seemed like an impossible task to make it through. Tonight as I look back it doesn't seem as if it has been that long. We all adapted quickly to our new normal and the time has flown by.
In 2 weeks we will begin stage two of this big adventure. The casts will be cut off and two tiny legs will once again be free! Although he is going stir crazy being confined I fear that the hardest part is still to come. My patience is wearing thin, school has been challenging at best, and I just am not looking forward to the four therapy sessions a week for three months.
I am excited at the possibilities for improvement in G's mobility but am anxious that he will freak when he stands--or attempts to stand-- on those new and weakened legs. That is the hardest part of being a parent of a special needs child or any child really--the unknown. What does the future hold? The future might be filled with great accomplishments or with difficult days full of disappointment. I try to look optimistically into the future trusting that whatever happens is in God's hands. He knows what tomorrow holds and isn't surprised, anxious, or dismayed by what He sees. My prayer is that I will look at every day through the eyes of God and trust that His plans are much better than my plans could ever be.
In 2 weeks we will begin stage two of this big adventure. The casts will be cut off and two tiny legs will once again be free! Although he is going stir crazy being confined I fear that the hardest part is still to come. My patience is wearing thin, school has been challenging at best, and I just am not looking forward to the four therapy sessions a week for three months.
I am excited at the possibilities for improvement in G's mobility but am anxious that he will freak when he stands--or attempts to stand-- on those new and weakened legs. That is the hardest part of being a parent of a special needs child or any child really--the unknown. What does the future hold? The future might be filled with great accomplishments or with difficult days full of disappointment. I try to look optimistically into the future trusting that whatever happens is in God's hands. He knows what tomorrow holds and isn't surprised, anxious, or dismayed by what He sees. My prayer is that I will look at every day through the eyes of God and trust that His plans are much better than my plans could ever be.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Boys vs. Girls
My Sweet G has seen the Justin Bieber movie ads on tv and since he loves music he had been asking to go to the theatre to see it on February 11th! Well, today my precious husband heard on the radio that there was going to be a special showing at the local theatre but tickets were only available through certain avenues. They gave some away on the radio but this time my hubby didn't win or maybe he didn't enter after his last radio win cost him hundreds of dollars for extra concert tickets. One way to get tickets was to buy a gift certificate at WOW. He knows that WOW is one of my favorite places to eat (although we hardly ever go there?) and he lives to please me and our boys so he called and asked if we could spend our evening eating wings and watching Justin Bieber.
There are three of us and of course you only get two tickets for each gift certificate. Go figure!! J went by and bought two gift certificates. That gave us each a ticket with one left over!! What to do with the other ticket--call our youth pastor and borrow his little girl for the evening. She and G are very close to the same age and I thought it would be a fun time for them to see a 3-D movie on the spur of the moment.
I really enjoyed having a little girl with us tonight. Having two boys ourselves the difference in her little girl responses was so sweet to experience! It was her first 3-D movie which thrilled her to near giggles. She is such a sweet little girl and she just kept smiling up at me with an excited expression all night. I loved it. I love my boys dearly but I am so thankful that tonight I was able to spend some time with a sweet little girl. She and I are already planning another get together in the near future!!
There are three of us and of course you only get two tickets for each gift certificate. Go figure!! J went by and bought two gift certificates. That gave us each a ticket with one left over!! What to do with the other ticket--call our youth pastor and borrow his little girl for the evening. She and G are very close to the same age and I thought it would be a fun time for them to see a 3-D movie on the spur of the moment.
I really enjoyed having a little girl with us tonight. Having two boys ourselves the difference in her little girl responses was so sweet to experience! It was her first 3-D movie which thrilled her to near giggles. She is such a sweet little girl and she just kept smiling up at me with an excited expression all night. I loved it. I love my boys dearly but I am so thankful that tonight I was able to spend some time with a sweet little girl. She and I are already planning another get together in the near future!!
Boys vs. Girls
My Sweet G has seen the Justin Bieber movie ads on tv and since he loves music he had been asking to go to the theatre to see it on February 11th! Well, today my precious husband heard on the radio that there was going to be a special showing at the local theatre but tickets were only available through certain avenues. They gave some away on the radio but this time my hubby didn't win or maybe he didn't enter after his last radio win cost him hundreds of dollars for extra concert tickets. One way to get tickets was to buy a gift certificate at WOW. He knows that WOW is one of my favorite places to eat (although we hardly ever go there?) and he lives to please me and our boys so he called and asked if we could spend our evening eating wings and watching Justin Bieber.
There are three of us and of course you only get two tickets for each gift certificate. Go figure!! J went by and bought two gift certificates. That gave us each a ticket with one left over!! What to do with the other ticket--call our youth pastor and borrow his little girl for the evening. She and G are very close to the same age and I thought it would be a fun time for them to see a 3-D movie on the spur of the moment.
I really enjoyed having a little girl with us tonight. Having two boys ourselves the difference in her little girl responses was so sweet to experience! It was her first 3-D movie which thrilled her to near giggles. She is such a sweet little girl and she just kept smiling up at me with an excited expression all night. I loved it. I love my boys dearly but I am so thankful that tonight I was able to spend some time with a sweet little girl. She and I are already planning another get together in the near future!!
There are three of us and of course you only get two tickets for each gift certificate. Go figure!! J went by and bought two gift certificates. That gave us each a ticket with one left over!! What to do with the other ticket--call our youth pastor and borrow his little girl for the evening. She and G are very close to the same age and I thought it would be a fun time for them to see a 3-D movie on the spur of the moment.
I really enjoyed having a little girl with us tonight. Having two boys ourselves the difference in her little girl responses was so sweet to experience! It was her first 3-D movie which thrilled her to near giggles. She is such a sweet little girl and she just kept smiling up at me with an excited expression all night. I loved it. I love my boys dearly but I am so thankful that tonight I was able to spend some time with a sweet little girl. She and I are already planning another get together in the near future!!
My Favorites
Do you have any everyday items that bring comfort to you or put a smile on your face? I have a few and I thought I would share a few of them with you today.
1. My favorite bowl. It was a gift from my sweet husband. I love it. When I eat out of it I can't help feeling uplifted. Isn't it gorgeous?
2. My favorite soup. Homemade chicken vegetable soup.
3. My favorite spoon. I call it the comfort spoon. I love the groove in the handle, the size and weight of it, and it's simplistic design. It belonged to my husband's grandmother and I tell him that if he ever decides to leave me I am fighting for the spoon.
4. My favorite fruit. Avacado. Wonderfully buttery avacado.
1. My favorite bowl. It was a gift from my sweet husband. I love it. When I eat out of it I can't help feeling uplifted. Isn't it gorgeous?
2. My favorite soup. Homemade chicken vegetable soup.
3. My favorite spoon. I call it the comfort spoon. I love the groove in the handle, the size and weight of it, and it's simplistic design. It belonged to my husband's grandmother and I tell him that if he ever decides to leave me I am fighting for the spoon.
4. My favorite fruit. Avacado. Wonderfully buttery avacado.
Together they are perfection!!
My Favorites
Do you have any everyday items that bring comfort to you or put a smile on your face? I have a few and I thought I would share a few of them with you today.
1. My favorite bowl. It was a gift from my sweet husband. I love it. When I eat out of it I can't help feeling uplifted. Isn't it gorgeous?
2. My favorite soup. Homemade chicken vegetable soup.
3. My favorite spoon. I call it the comfort spoon. I love the groove in the handle, the size and weight of it, and it's simplistic design. It belonged to my husband's grandmother and I tell him that if he ever decides to leave me I am fighting for the spoon.
4. My favorite fruit. Avacado. Wonderfully buttery avacado.
1. My favorite bowl. It was a gift from my sweet husband. I love it. When I eat out of it I can't help feeling uplifted. Isn't it gorgeous?
2. My favorite soup. Homemade chicken vegetable soup.
3. My favorite spoon. I call it the comfort spoon. I love the groove in the handle, the size and weight of it, and it's simplistic design. It belonged to my husband's grandmother and I tell him that if he ever decides to leave me I am fighting for the spoon.
4. My favorite fruit. Avacado. Wonderfully buttery avacado.
Together they are perfection!!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Strength to Make it Through
Having a child in full leg casts that are spread 26" apart at the feet has been a trying experience. It is going on three weeks now and I am about at my witts end. The first few days were not too bad. I had J at home to help me out and we worked as a team to figure things out. J returned to work 6 days after the surgery and I must admit I was very nervous. Up until that day I had not tried to pick G up by myself and the thought of it terrified me. I was so afraid that I would hurt him or that I wouldn't be able to hold him because he is so cumbersome with the casts. He was still pretty sore and moving him caused him pain.
I had no choice but to go it alone and those first two days J was back at work I did great. I cleaned the house, got G on the sofa for a little while, figured out the best way to help him use the toilet, and spent some quality time with Sweet G. Wednesdays are therapy days and thank goodness J is able to arrange it so that he can come home so that we can drop G off at therapy together, spend and hour and 1/2 together, and then return home. The first week was okay and I thought I had totally overreaccted about the whole experience.
Well, week two didn't go quite so smoothly. We have been weening G off his meds and I tried a couple of nights without anything. BIG mistake! He started having muscle spasms pretty bad and couldn't sleep. The casts were starting to irritate him and the itching was really starting to set in. He slept two or three nights sitting up in bed. When I say sitting up I mean sitting up not proped up against pillows but sitting slumped over with his head in my back. He flopped back onto my face at least twice in one night. I was getting very little sleep and the sleep I was getting was not restful.
This past week has been hard. I am tired of sleeping without my husband. In 26+ years of marriage we have never slept apart except for occasional nights when one of the boys was sick or the rare times that one of us was out of town for some reason or other. I do not like sleeping apart from my husband. Thankfully we switch places on weekends. He sleeps with G on Friday and Saturday nights so I can have some alone time and supposedly get some much needed sleep. (I should be asleep now)
I miss my husband!! I am going stir crazy in this house with nothing to do! So, tonight my sweet J called my favorite precious nephew and had him and his sweet girlfriend come and babysit so we could get out of the house. I could choose anywhere I wanted to go. I chose Michael's, Pier One, Home Depot, and J got something to eat at Zaxby's. I know it probably sounds like a dull date but I really enjoyed it. I was at the point of tears at one point in Michael's. I can't tell you why. I am just very emotional and totally out of balance!! There is just too much emotional junk going on in my life right now! I am emotionally drained to the point of breaking down.
I know this too shall pass. In fact, stage one will be half over on Tuesday. We are going on a short trip with some wonderful friends the week after that and then it won't be long before those little legs are revealed!! I really am cautiously excited! I keep hearing people say how amazing this is going to be for him. I know in my head that it should help but in my heart I am just afraid of being too optimistic and being disappointed. It is imperative that G overcome his fear of falling. For him to reach his full potential he has to be fearless. So my prayer for him tonight is:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had no choice but to go it alone and those first two days J was back at work I did great. I cleaned the house, got G on the sofa for a little while, figured out the best way to help him use the toilet, and spent some quality time with Sweet G. Wednesdays are therapy days and thank goodness J is able to arrange it so that he can come home so that we can drop G off at therapy together, spend and hour and 1/2 together, and then return home. The first week was okay and I thought I had totally overreaccted about the whole experience.
Well, week two didn't go quite so smoothly. We have been weening G off his meds and I tried a couple of nights without anything. BIG mistake! He started having muscle spasms pretty bad and couldn't sleep. The casts were starting to irritate him and the itching was really starting to set in. He slept two or three nights sitting up in bed. When I say sitting up I mean sitting up not proped up against pillows but sitting slumped over with his head in my back. He flopped back onto my face at least twice in one night. I was getting very little sleep and the sleep I was getting was not restful.
This past week has been hard. I am tired of sleeping without my husband. In 26+ years of marriage we have never slept apart except for occasional nights when one of the boys was sick or the rare times that one of us was out of town for some reason or other. I do not like sleeping apart from my husband. Thankfully we switch places on weekends. He sleeps with G on Friday and Saturday nights so I can have some alone time and supposedly get some much needed sleep. (I should be asleep now)
I miss my husband!! I am going stir crazy in this house with nothing to do! So, tonight my sweet J called my favorite precious nephew and had him and his sweet girlfriend come and babysit so we could get out of the house. I could choose anywhere I wanted to go. I chose Michael's, Pier One, Home Depot, and J got something to eat at Zaxby's. I know it probably sounds like a dull date but I really enjoyed it. I was at the point of tears at one point in Michael's. I can't tell you why. I am just very emotional and totally out of balance!! There is just too much emotional junk going on in my life right now! I am emotionally drained to the point of breaking down.
I know this too shall pass. In fact, stage one will be half over on Tuesday. We are going on a short trip with some wonderful friends the week after that and then it won't be long before those little legs are revealed!! I really am cautiously excited! I keep hearing people say how amazing this is going to be for him. I know in my head that it should help but in my heart I am just afraid of being too optimistic and being disappointed. It is imperative that G overcome his fear of falling. For him to reach his full potential he has to be fearless. So my prayer for him tonight is:
"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn."
Psalm 18:32-36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Strength to Make it Through
Having a child in full leg casts that are spread 26" apart at the feet has been a trying experience. It is going on three weeks now and I am about at my witts end. The first few days were not too bad. I had J at home to help me out and we worked as a team to figure things out. J returned to work 6 days after the surgery and I must admit I was very nervous. Up until that day I had not tried to pick G up by myself and the thought of it terrified me. I was so afraid that I would hurt him or that I wouldn't be able to hold him because he is so cumbersome with the casts. He was still pretty sore and moving him caused him pain.
I had no choice but to go it alone and those first two days J was back at work I did great. I cleaned the house, got G on the sofa for a little while, figured out the best way to help him use the toilet, and spent some quality time with Sweet G. Wednesdays are therapy days and thank goodness J is able to arrange it so that he can come home so that we can drop G off at therapy together, spend and hour and 1/2 together, and then return home. The first week was okay and I thought I had totally overreaccted about the whole experience.
Well, week two didn't go quite so smoothly. We have been weening G off his meds and I tried a couple of nights without anything. BIG mistake! He started having muscle spasms pretty bad and couldn't sleep. The casts were starting to irritate him and the itching was really starting to set in. He slept two or three nights sitting up in bed. When I say sitting up I mean sitting up not proped up against pillows but sitting slumped over with his head in my back. He flopped back onto my face at least twice in one night. I was getting very little sleep and the sleep I was getting was not restful.
This past week has been hard. I am tired of sleeping without my husband. In 26+ years of marriage we have never slept apart except for occasional nights when one of the boys was sick or the rare times that one of us was out of town for some reason or other. I do not like sleeping apart from my husband. Thankfully we switch places on weekends. He sleeps with G on Friday and Saturday nights so I can have some alone time and supposedly get some much needed sleep. (I should be asleep now)
I miss my husband!! I am going stir crazy in this house with nothing to do! So, tonight my sweet J called my favorite precious nephew and had him and his sweet girlfriend come and babysit so we could get out of the house. I could choose anywhere I wanted to go. I chose Michael's, Pier One, Home Depot, and J got something to eat at Zaxby's. I know it probably sounds like a dull date but I really enjoyed it. I was at the point of tears at one point in Michael's. I can't tell you why. I am just very emotional and totally out of balance!! There is just too much emotional junk going on in my life right now! I am emotionally drained to the point of breaking down.
I know this too shall pass. In fact, stage one will be half over on Tuesday. We are going on a short trip with some wonderful friends the week after that and then it won't be long before those little legs are revealed!! I really am cautiously excited! I keep hearing people say how amazing this is going to be for him. I know in my head that it should help but in my heart I am just afraid of being too optimistic and being disappointed. It is imperative that G overcome his fear of falling. For him to reach his full potential he has to be fearless. So my prayer for him tonight is:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had no choice but to go it alone and those first two days J was back at work I did great. I cleaned the house, got G on the sofa for a little while, figured out the best way to help him use the toilet, and spent some quality time with Sweet G. Wednesdays are therapy days and thank goodness J is able to arrange it so that he can come home so that we can drop G off at therapy together, spend and hour and 1/2 together, and then return home. The first week was okay and I thought I had totally overreaccted about the whole experience.
Well, week two didn't go quite so smoothly. We have been weening G off his meds and I tried a couple of nights without anything. BIG mistake! He started having muscle spasms pretty bad and couldn't sleep. The casts were starting to irritate him and the itching was really starting to set in. He slept two or three nights sitting up in bed. When I say sitting up I mean sitting up not proped up against pillows but sitting slumped over with his head in my back. He flopped back onto my face at least twice in one night. I was getting very little sleep and the sleep I was getting was not restful.
This past week has been hard. I am tired of sleeping without my husband. In 26+ years of marriage we have never slept apart except for occasional nights when one of the boys was sick or the rare times that one of us was out of town for some reason or other. I do not like sleeping apart from my husband. Thankfully we switch places on weekends. He sleeps with G on Friday and Saturday nights so I can have some alone time and supposedly get some much needed sleep. (I should be asleep now)
I miss my husband!! I am going stir crazy in this house with nothing to do! So, tonight my sweet J called my favorite precious nephew and had him and his sweet girlfriend come and babysit so we could get out of the house. I could choose anywhere I wanted to go. I chose Michael's, Pier One, Home Depot, and J got something to eat at Zaxby's. I know it probably sounds like a dull date but I really enjoyed it. I was at the point of tears at one point in Michael's. I can't tell you why. I am just very emotional and totally out of balance!! There is just too much emotional junk going on in my life right now! I am emotionally drained to the point of breaking down.
I know this too shall pass. In fact, stage one will be half over on Tuesday. We are going on a short trip with some wonderful friends the week after that and then it won't be long before those little legs are revealed!! I really am cautiously excited! I keep hearing people say how amazing this is going to be for him. I know in my head that it should help but in my heart I am just afraid of being too optimistic and being disappointed. It is imperative that G overcome his fear of falling. For him to reach his full potential he has to be fearless. So my prayer for him tonight is:
"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn."
Psalm 18:32-36
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Slipcover dining room chairs. Check. (via Nouveau Stitch)
I am currently making slipcovers for my dining room chairs and stumbled across this blog. I love these slipcovers although they won't work in my situation.
via Nouveau Stitch
Slipcover dining room chairs. Check. (via Nouveau Stitch)
I am currently making slipcovers for my dining room chairs and stumbled across this blog. I love these slipcovers although they won't work in my situation.
via Nouveau Stitch
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Disappear
Almost three months ago my world started crashing in around me. Choices made by others came with consequences that affected lots of other people and I am one of them. I found myself in a similar situation almost seven years ago. A person I loved and admired deeply made some terrible choices that ultimately removed them from my life and the lives of many others forever. In the aftermath of the incident we stumbled through life for a long time trying to find our way back to a place of peace, contentment and joy. We did experience joy and peace during those years but there were also days, weeks, and months filled with chaos, pain, fear, and an overwhelming sense of betrayal and loss. Loss of fellowship with loved ones, loss of trust, loss of a normal life. My world was shaken and it took me six long years to gain a new normal as I accepted and moved past the pain that individual caused me.
This new event in my life is a repeat of the past in many ways. I find myself lost, hurt, and betrayed. This time is different for me though. I suppose the past seven years prepared me for this. I have moved through the stages of dealing with all of it much faster than I did last time. I know how this kind of situation plays out. Alliances are made, feelings are hurt, relationships lost. I don't have six years to waste on something that I know the outcome of. I have to keep moving forward and the sooner I can do so the better.
My head knows those things but my heart takes a little more time to follow. I will find a new normal. Life will go on. One thing that helped me early on in dealing with the pain of betrayal seven years ago was Christian music. There were several songs that ministered to me during those dark days and one of them was Disappear by Bebo Norman. I have provided the lyrics to that song because today I find myself wanting to run away from everything and I know the only place I can run is to Jesus. I hope they speak to you like they do me.
On a day like this
I want to crawl beneath a rock
A million miles from the world
The noise, the commotion
That never seems to stop
And on a day like this
I want to run away from the routine
Run away from the daily grind
That can suck the life, right out of me
I only know one place I can run to
I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth so I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
I don't want to care about earthly things
Be caught up in all the lies that trick my eyes
They say it's all about me
I'm so tired of it being about me
I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth and I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
I would rather be cast away
Separated from the human race
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
'Cause I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth and I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
Lyrics: Jess and Chad Cates
Recorded by: Bebo Norman
This new event in my life is a repeat of the past in many ways. I find myself lost, hurt, and betrayed. This time is different for me though. I suppose the past seven years prepared me for this. I have moved through the stages of dealing with all of it much faster than I did last time. I know how this kind of situation plays out. Alliances are made, feelings are hurt, relationships lost. I don't have six years to waste on something that I know the outcome of. I have to keep moving forward and the sooner I can do so the better.
My head knows those things but my heart takes a little more time to follow. I will find a new normal. Life will go on. One thing that helped me early on in dealing with the pain of betrayal seven years ago was Christian music. There were several songs that ministered to me during those dark days and one of them was Disappear by Bebo Norman. I have provided the lyrics to that song because today I find myself wanting to run away from everything and I know the only place I can run is to Jesus. I hope they speak to you like they do me.
On a day like this
I want to crawl beneath a rock
A million miles from the world
The noise, the commotion
That never seems to stop
And on a day like this
I want to run away from the routine
Run away from the daily grind
That can suck the life, right out of me
I only know one place I can run to
I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth so I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
I don't want to care about earthly things
Be caught up in all the lies that trick my eyes
They say it's all about me
I'm so tired of it being about me
I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth and I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
I would rather be cast away
Separated from the human race
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
'Cause I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth and I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
Lyrics: Jess and Chad Cates
Recorded by: Bebo Norman
Disappear
Almost three months ago my world started crashing in around me. Choices made by others came with consequences that affected lots of other people and I am one of them. I found myself in a similar situation almost seven years ago. A person I loved and admired deeply made some terrible choices that ultimately removed them from my life and the lives of many others forever. In the aftermath of the incident we stumbled through life for a long time trying to find our way back to a place of peace, contentment and joy. We did experience joy and peace during those years but there were also days, weeks, and months filled with chaos, pain, fear, and an overwhelming sense of betrayal and loss. Loss of fellowship with loved ones, loss of trust, loss of a normal life. My world was shaken and it took me six long years to gain a new normal as I accepted and moved past the pain that individual caused me.
This new event in my life is a repeat of the past in many ways. I find myself lost, hurt, and betrayed. This time is different for me though. I suppose the past seven years prepared me for this. I have moved through the stages of dealing with all of it much faster than I did last time. I know how this kind of situation plays out. Alliances are made, feelings are hurt, relationships lost. I don't have six years to waste on something that I know the outcome of. I have to keep moving forward and the sooner I can do so the better.
My head knows those things but my heart takes a little more time to follow. I will find a new normal. Life will go on. One thing that helped me early on in dealing with the pain of betrayal seven years ago was Christian music. There were several songs that ministered to me during those dark days and one of them was Disappear by Bebo Norman. I have provided the lyrics to that song because today I find myself wanting to run away from everything and I know the only place I can run is to Jesus. I hope they speak to you like they do me.
On a day like this
I want to crawl beneath a rock
A million miles from the world
The noise, the commotion
That never seems to stop
And on a day like this
I want to run away from the routine
Run away from the daily grind
That can suck the life, right out of me
I only know one place I can run to
I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth so I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
I don't want to care about earthly things
Be caught up in all the lies that trick my eyes
They say it's all about me
I'm so tired of it being about me
I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth and I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
I would rather be cast away
Separated from the human race
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
'Cause I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth and I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
Lyrics: Jess and Chad Cates
Recorded by: Bebo Norman
This new event in my life is a repeat of the past in many ways. I find myself lost, hurt, and betrayed. This time is different for me though. I suppose the past seven years prepared me for this. I have moved through the stages of dealing with all of it much faster than I did last time. I know how this kind of situation plays out. Alliances are made, feelings are hurt, relationships lost. I don't have six years to waste on something that I know the outcome of. I have to keep moving forward and the sooner I can do so the better.
My head knows those things but my heart takes a little more time to follow. I will find a new normal. Life will go on. One thing that helped me early on in dealing with the pain of betrayal seven years ago was Christian music. There were several songs that ministered to me during those dark days and one of them was Disappear by Bebo Norman. I have provided the lyrics to that song because today I find myself wanting to run away from everything and I know the only place I can run is to Jesus. I hope they speak to you like they do me.
On a day like this
I want to crawl beneath a rock
A million miles from the world
The noise, the commotion
That never seems to stop
And on a day like this
I want to run away from the routine
Run away from the daily grind
That can suck the life, right out of me
I only know one place I can run to
I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth so I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
I don't want to care about earthly things
Be caught up in all the lies that trick my eyes
They say it's all about me
I'm so tired of it being about me
I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth and I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
I would rather be cast away
Separated from the human race
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
If I don't bring You glory
'Cause I want to hide in You
The way, the life, the truth and I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And You become clear as I disappear
Lyrics: Jess and Chad Cates
Recorded by: Bebo Norman
Charlie Sheen
Sweet G and I were in bed watching television when Sara Evan's video I'm a Little Bit Stronger comes on GAC. G says, "This song makes me cry so don't look at me. Boo Hoo Hoo. Hee Hee Hee!" A minute later he says, "That guy is lame."
I asked him why and he says, "Cause he fell in love with another woman and I am not ever going to leave my Karen (aka Mommy). I don't know if this makes sense but I think he might be in gay."
I say, "No, G he's not gay if he left for another woman."
G, "Oh, he's just like Charlie Sheen then."
That boy is too much!
I asked him why and he says, "Cause he fell in love with another woman and I am not ever going to leave my Karen (aka Mommy). I don't know if this makes sense but I think he might be in gay."
I say, "No, G he's not gay if he left for another woman."
G, "Oh, he's just like Charlie Sheen then."
That boy is too much!
Charlie Sheen
Sweet G and I were in bed watching television when Sara Evan's video I'm a Little Bit Stronger comes on GAC. G says, "This song makes me cry so don't look at me. Boo Hoo Hoo. Hee Hee Hee!" A minute later he says, "That guy is lame."
I asked him why and he says, "Cause he fell in love with another woman and I am not ever going to leave my Karen (aka Mommy). I don't know if this makes sense but I think he might be in gay."
I say, "No, G he's not gay if he left for another woman."
G, "Oh, he's just like Charlie Sheen then."
That boy is too much!
I asked him why and he says, "Cause he fell in love with another woman and I am not ever going to leave my Karen (aka Mommy). I don't know if this makes sense but I think he might be in gay."
I say, "No, G he's not gay if he left for another woman."
G, "Oh, he's just like Charlie Sheen then."
That boy is too much!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Elephant
Anger burning wild and strong
Disillusionment filling every ounce of my being
A cloak of sadness enveloping me
The weight of it is more than I can bear.
Alone and alienated by my point of view
Still I refuse to ignore the elephant in the room.
I cannot sit silently pretending that it will be okay.
Nothing will ever be as it was.
Bonds have been broken, trust has died.
The guilty embraced the innocent condemned.
Sides have been taken with lines drawn in the sand.
Lines so deep and wide they will never be crossed.
Time will not repair the damage.
The future only holds more pain in it's hands.
Shame stands laughing at the destruction he has caused.
I choose to turn and walk away from it all.
Disillusionment filling every ounce of my being
A cloak of sadness enveloping me
The weight of it is more than I can bear.
Alone and alienated by my point of view
Still I refuse to ignore the elephant in the room.
I cannot sit silently pretending that it will be okay.
Nothing will ever be as it was.
Bonds have been broken, trust has died.
The guilty embraced the innocent condemned.
Sides have been taken with lines drawn in the sand.
Lines so deep and wide they will never be crossed.
Time will not repair the damage.
The future only holds more pain in it's hands.
Shame stands laughing at the destruction he has caused.
I choose to turn and walk away from it all.
The Elephant
Anger burning wild and strong
Disillusionment filling every ounce of my being
A cloak of sadness enveloping me
The weight of it is more than I can bear.
Alone and alienated by my point of view
Still I refuse to ignore the elephant in the room.
I cannot sit silently pretending that it will be okay.
Nothing will ever be as it was.
Bonds have been broken, trust has died.
The guilty embraced the innocent condemned.
Sides have been taken with lines drawn in the sand.
Lines so deep and wide they will never be crossed.
Time will not repair the damage.
The future only holds more pain in it's hands.
Shame stands laughing at the destruction he has caused.
I choose to turn and walk away from it all.
Disillusionment filling every ounce of my being
A cloak of sadness enveloping me
The weight of it is more than I can bear.
Alone and alienated by my point of view
Still I refuse to ignore the elephant in the room.
I cannot sit silently pretending that it will be okay.
Nothing will ever be as it was.
Bonds have been broken, trust has died.
The guilty embraced the innocent condemned.
Sides have been taken with lines drawn in the sand.
Lines so deep and wide they will never be crossed.
Time will not repair the damage.
The future only holds more pain in it's hands.
Shame stands laughing at the destruction he has caused.
I choose to turn and walk away from it all.
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