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Sunday, June 26, 2011
Lessons From Today
My wonderful husband lovingly, patiently and persistently worked to awaken me this morning in time for us to make it to Sunday School and church. I stayed up way too late last night which is common for me. I just really wanted to be left alone to sleep but he is so much more aware of our need to worship than I am so he gently encouraged me to wake up.
I began to drift in and out of consciousness after he made several attempts to wake me. As I lay there trying to break free from the thick fog of sleep that was engulfing me I heard Sweet G's voice. "Is Momma getting up? Is she going to church? Is it going to be just you and me today, Daddy?"
Those simple questions asked from curiosity and a deep need to know the day's plan was what finally swooped in and lifted me out of the fog. Depression and panic become excuses at times. I don't consciously use them to allow me to check out of life but I also don't make a conscious effort to press forward and overcome my tendency to allow depression to prevent me from living a full life.
Sunday School was wonderful. Our teacher has a way of presenting God's truth in a way that resonates with me. We have similar personalities and I suppose that makes his teaching real, relatable and powerful to me.
We had a special guest come and sing during the worship service. The worship was more powerful than it has been in a while. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit and looked next to me and saw Sweet G lift both hands as high as he could and shout, "Yes! praise the Lord." My initial Mommy thought was to tell him to be quiet but I didn't. I paused and watched my little boy worship with a freedom that I wish I was bold enough to experience. I sat there in awe of his sweet spirit and his lack of restraint. He felt moved by the singing and he unashamedly praised God.
God had many lessons for me today. The sermon was perfect for where I have been in my life and pointed out some key areas I have become weak in. Our Sunday School lesson was filled with answers to issues I deal with regularly. The songs of worship reminded me that I gain strength from praising my Savior. Sweet G demonstrated freedom in worshiping Christ and in trusting Him regardless of the circumstances God allows me to face.
I prayed at the alter about some things I have been dealing with for a long time. A precious senior adult lady joined me to pray. She is the perfect picture of southern grace and devoted Christianity. Everyone who knows her loves her and admires the testimony of her life. I was honored that she prayed with me but the most amazing thing happened as we finished praying. She held me by my arms and looked directly into my eyes as she spoke to me. She said some things about me that took me by surprise. God used her to bless me and encourage me.
I would have missed all those things if my amazing husband hadn't persisted in his attempts to wake me. He is so much more than I deserve. God taught me so much today. He demonstrated the fruit of the spirit through those around me.
Galatians 5:22-25 (KJV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23[Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.]
24[And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.]
25[If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.]
I began to drift in and out of consciousness after he made several attempts to wake me. As I lay there trying to break free from the thick fog of sleep that was engulfing me I heard Sweet G's voice. "Is Momma getting up? Is she going to church? Is it going to be just you and me today, Daddy?"
Those simple questions asked from curiosity and a deep need to know the day's plan was what finally swooped in and lifted me out of the fog. Depression and panic become excuses at times. I don't consciously use them to allow me to check out of life but I also don't make a conscious effort to press forward and overcome my tendency to allow depression to prevent me from living a full life.
Sunday School was wonderful. Our teacher has a way of presenting God's truth in a way that resonates with me. We have similar personalities and I suppose that makes his teaching real, relatable and powerful to me.
We had a special guest come and sing during the worship service. The worship was more powerful than it has been in a while. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit and looked next to me and saw Sweet G lift both hands as high as he could and shout, "Yes! praise the Lord." My initial Mommy thought was to tell him to be quiet but I didn't. I paused and watched my little boy worship with a freedom that I wish I was bold enough to experience. I sat there in awe of his sweet spirit and his lack of restraint. He felt moved by the singing and he unashamedly praised God.
God had many lessons for me today. The sermon was perfect for where I have been in my life and pointed out some key areas I have become weak in. Our Sunday School lesson was filled with answers to issues I deal with regularly. The songs of worship reminded me that I gain strength from praising my Savior. Sweet G demonstrated freedom in worshiping Christ and in trusting Him regardless of the circumstances God allows me to face.
I prayed at the alter about some things I have been dealing with for a long time. A precious senior adult lady joined me to pray. She is the perfect picture of southern grace and devoted Christianity. Everyone who knows her loves her and admires the testimony of her life. I was honored that she prayed with me but the most amazing thing happened as we finished praying. She held me by my arms and looked directly into my eyes as she spoke to me. She said some things about me that took me by surprise. God used her to bless me and encourage me.
I would have missed all those things if my amazing husband hadn't persisted in his attempts to wake me. He is so much more than I deserve. God taught me so much today. He demonstrated the fruit of the spirit through those around me.
Galatians 5:22-25 (KJV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23[Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.]
24[And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.]
25[If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.]
Lessons From Today
My wonderful husband lovingly, patiently and persistently worked to awaken me this morning in time for us to make it to Sunday School and church. I stayed up way too late last night which is common for me. I just really wanted to be left alone to sleep but he is so much more aware of our need to worship than I am so he gently encouraged me to wake up.
I began to drift in and out of consciousness after he made several attempts to wake me. As I lay there trying to break free from the thick fog of sleep that was engulfing me I heard Sweet G's voice. "Is Momma getting up? Is she going to church? Is it going to be just you and me today, Daddy?"
Those simple questions asked from curiosity and a deep need to know the day's plan was what finally swooped in and lifted me out of the fog. Depression and panic become excuses at times. I don't consciously use them to allow me to check out of life but I also don't make a conscious effort to press forward and overcome my tendency to allow depression to prevent me from living a full life.
Sunday School was wonderful. Our teacher has a way of presenting God's truth in a way that resonates with me. We have similar personalities and I suppose that makes his teaching real, relatable and powerful to me.
We had a special guest come and sing during the worship service. The worship was more powerful than it has been in a while. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit and looked next to me and saw Sweet G lift both hands as high as he could and shout, "Yes! praise the Lord." My initial Mommy thought was to tell him to be quiet but I didn't. I paused and watched my little boy worship with a freedom that I wish I was bold enough to experience. I sat there in awe of his sweet spirit and his lack of restraint. He felt moved by the singing and he unashamedly praised God.
God had many lessons for me today. The sermon was perfect for where I have been in my life and pointed out some key areas I have become weak in. Our Sunday School lesson was filled with answers to issues I deal with regularly. The songs of worship reminded me that I gain strength from praising my Savior. Sweet G demonstrated freedom in worshiping Christ and in trusting Him regardless of the circumstances God allows me to face.
I prayed at the alter about some things I have been dealing with for a long time. A precious senior adult lady joined me to pray. She is the perfect picture of southern grace and devoted Christianity. Everyone who knows her loves her and admires the testimony of her life. I was honored that she prayed with me but the most amazing thing happened as we finished praying. She held me by my arms and looked directly into my eyes as she spoke to me. She said some things about me that took me by surprise. God used her to bless me and encourage me.
I would have missed all those things if my amazing husband hadn't persisted in his attempts to wake me. He is so much more than I deserve. God taught me so much today. He demonstrated the fruit of the spirit through those around me.
Galatians 5:22-25 (KJV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23[Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.]
24[And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.]
25[If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.]
I began to drift in and out of consciousness after he made several attempts to wake me. As I lay there trying to break free from the thick fog of sleep that was engulfing me I heard Sweet G's voice. "Is Momma getting up? Is she going to church? Is it going to be just you and me today, Daddy?"
Those simple questions asked from curiosity and a deep need to know the day's plan was what finally swooped in and lifted me out of the fog. Depression and panic become excuses at times. I don't consciously use them to allow me to check out of life but I also don't make a conscious effort to press forward and overcome my tendency to allow depression to prevent me from living a full life.
Sunday School was wonderful. Our teacher has a way of presenting God's truth in a way that resonates with me. We have similar personalities and I suppose that makes his teaching real, relatable and powerful to me.
We had a special guest come and sing during the worship service. The worship was more powerful than it has been in a while. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit and looked next to me and saw Sweet G lift both hands as high as he could and shout, "Yes! praise the Lord." My initial Mommy thought was to tell him to be quiet but I didn't. I paused and watched my little boy worship with a freedom that I wish I was bold enough to experience. I sat there in awe of his sweet spirit and his lack of restraint. He felt moved by the singing and he unashamedly praised God.
God had many lessons for me today. The sermon was perfect for where I have been in my life and pointed out some key areas I have become weak in. Our Sunday School lesson was filled with answers to issues I deal with regularly. The songs of worship reminded me that I gain strength from praising my Savior. Sweet G demonstrated freedom in worshiping Christ and in trusting Him regardless of the circumstances God allows me to face.
I prayed at the alter about some things I have been dealing with for a long time. A precious senior adult lady joined me to pray. She is the perfect picture of southern grace and devoted Christianity. Everyone who knows her loves her and admires the testimony of her life. I was honored that she prayed with me but the most amazing thing happened as we finished praying. She held me by my arms and looked directly into my eyes as she spoke to me. She said some things about me that took me by surprise. God used her to bless me and encourage me.
I would have missed all those things if my amazing husband hadn't persisted in his attempts to wake me. He is so much more than I deserve. God taught me so much today. He demonstrated the fruit of the spirit through those around me.
Galatians 5:22-25 (KJV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23[Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.]
24[And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.]
25[If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.]
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The Day God Sent Me an Angel
There was nothing different about this day than any other. It started out an ordinary Tuesday that ended extraordinarily. My son and I completed a day of homeschooling and in the late afternoon I sat down and began to apply my make-up. I smeared creamy white grease paint around my mouth and over each of my eyes, setting it with bright white powder. Taking a brush in hand I began to create cheeks. A blue pencil outlined my eyes, followed by blue mascara, and ruby red lips. A tiny blue dot delicately placed under my lower lip honor the clowns who created me. Lastly I glue a small red and yellow flower to the tip of my nose. Donning a polka dotted dress and ruffled bloomers, I placed my orange curly wig on my head. The transformation is complete, I disappeared as Scribbles came to life.
Ready for work, I hopped in the car and headed out on my thirty minute commute to work. I never did get entirely used to driving a car as Scribbles. There were always people pulling up beside me and waving wildly, which always seemed to catch me off guard. I often wondered what was wrong with people who honked at me and acted as if they were my long lost best friend, that is until I remembered I was in clown mode. Believe me it is easy to forget how you are dressed.
Work was pretty much the same every week. There were lots of families that were there faithfully every Tuesday and there were always a few new faces too. This night was no different from any other Tuesday until B walked into the restaurant and handed me a card with the picture of an angel inside. I was being given a priceless gift by strangers-their child would be mine.
After a brief visit to see him in the local hospital we headed home. I don't remember clearly what happened that night but I am pretty sure that it involved searching the Internet for baby names and their meanings. Our lives had just been radically changed and we weren't prepared in the least.
Have you ever unexpectantly received a pet? Do you remember the stress and excitement you felt as you tried to pick the perfect name for it? Imagine receiving a baby that same way. Think about walking out your front door and finding a baby with a note that reads, "A gift from God-love and enjoy him." That's pretty much how I felt. Shocked, amazed, overwhelmed, overjoyed.
I knew that this precious baby had to be given the perfect name. It was imperative that his name have deep meaning. A perfect name for a perfect gift. I found a name I liked that's meaning is strong man of God and I gave him a middle name that means gift of God. His name suits him perfectly. He was sent by God in a miraculous way. I sometimes describe it as him falling out of the sky because that is almost how it feels. It's like a big white stork flew him down from Heaven and laid him in my arms. It was a magical experience that I did nothing to deserve but I sure am glad God chose me to be the mother of that little angel.
Ready for work, I hopped in the car and headed out on my thirty minute commute to work. I never did get entirely used to driving a car as Scribbles. There were always people pulling up beside me and waving wildly, which always seemed to catch me off guard. I often wondered what was wrong with people who honked at me and acted as if they were my long lost best friend, that is until I remembered I was in clown mode. Believe me it is easy to forget how you are dressed.
Work was pretty much the same every week. There were lots of families that were there faithfully every Tuesday and there were always a few new faces too. This night was no different from any other Tuesday until B walked into the restaurant and handed me a card with the picture of an angel inside. I was being given a priceless gift by strangers-their child would be mine.
After a brief visit to see him in the local hospital we headed home. I don't remember clearly what happened that night but I am pretty sure that it involved searching the Internet for baby names and their meanings. Our lives had just been radically changed and we weren't prepared in the least.
Have you ever unexpectantly received a pet? Do you remember the stress and excitement you felt as you tried to pick the perfect name for it? Imagine receiving a baby that same way. Think about walking out your front door and finding a baby with a note that reads, "A gift from God-love and enjoy him." That's pretty much how I felt. Shocked, amazed, overwhelmed, overjoyed.
I knew that this precious baby had to be given the perfect name. It was imperative that his name have deep meaning. A perfect name for a perfect gift. I found a name I liked that's meaning is strong man of God and I gave him a middle name that means gift of God. His name suits him perfectly. He was sent by God in a miraculous way. I sometimes describe it as him falling out of the sky because that is almost how it feels. It's like a big white stork flew him down from Heaven and laid him in my arms. It was a magical experience that I did nothing to deserve but I sure am glad God chose me to be the mother of that little angel.
The Day God Sent Me an Angel
There was nothing different about this day than any other. It started out an ordinary Tuesday that ended extraordinarily. My son and I completed a day of homeschooling and in the late afternoon I sat down and began to apply my make-up. I smeared creamy white grease paint around my mouth and over each of my eyes, setting it with bright white powder. Taking a brush in hand I began to create cheeks. A blue pencil outlined my eyes, followed by blue mascara, and ruby red lips. A tiny blue dot delicately placed under my lower lip honor the clowns who created me. Lastly I glue a small red and yellow flower to the tip of my nose. Donning a polka dotted dress and ruffled bloomers, I placed my orange curly wig on my head. The transformation is complete, I disappeared as Scribbles came to life.
Ready for work, I hopped in the car and headed out on my thirty minute commute to work. I never did get entirely used to driving a car as Scribbles. There were always people pulling up beside me and waving wildly, which always seemed to catch me off guard. I often wondered what was wrong with people who honked at me and acted as if they were my long lost best friend, that is until I remembered I was in clown mode. Believe me it is easy to forget how you are dressed.
Work was pretty much the same every week. There were lots of families that were there faithfully every Tuesday and there were always a few new faces too. This night was no different from any other Tuesday until B walked into the restaurant and handed me a card with the picture of an angel inside. I was being given a priceless gift by strangers-their child would be mine.
After a brief visit to see him in the local hospital we headed home. I don't remember clearly what happened that night but I am pretty sure that it involved searching the Internet for baby names and their meanings. Our lives had just been radically changed and we weren't prepared in the least.
Have you ever unexpectantly received a pet? Do you remember the stress and excitement you felt as you tried to pick the perfect name for it? Imagine receiving a baby that same way. Think about walking out your front door and finding a baby with a note that reads, "A gift from God-love and enjoy him." That's pretty much how I felt. Shocked, amazed, overwhelmed, overjoyed.
I knew that this precious baby had to be given the perfect name. It was imperative that his name have deep meaning. A perfect name for a perfect gift. I found a name I liked that's meaning is strong man of God and I gave him a middle name that means gift of God. His name suits him perfectly. He was sent by God in a miraculous way. I sometimes describe it as him falling out of the sky because that is almost how it feels. It's like a big white stork flew him down from Heaven and laid him in my arms. It was a magical experience that I did nothing to deserve but I sure am glad God chose me to be the mother of that little angel.
Ready for work, I hopped in the car and headed out on my thirty minute commute to work. I never did get entirely used to driving a car as Scribbles. There were always people pulling up beside me and waving wildly, which always seemed to catch me off guard. I often wondered what was wrong with people who honked at me and acted as if they were my long lost best friend, that is until I remembered I was in clown mode. Believe me it is easy to forget how you are dressed.
Work was pretty much the same every week. There were lots of families that were there faithfully every Tuesday and there were always a few new faces too. This night was no different from any other Tuesday until B walked into the restaurant and handed me a card with the picture of an angel inside. I was being given a priceless gift by strangers-their child would be mine.
After a brief visit to see him in the local hospital we headed home. I don't remember clearly what happened that night but I am pretty sure that it involved searching the Internet for baby names and their meanings. Our lives had just been radically changed and we weren't prepared in the least.
Have you ever unexpectantly received a pet? Do you remember the stress and excitement you felt as you tried to pick the perfect name for it? Imagine receiving a baby that same way. Think about walking out your front door and finding a baby with a note that reads, "A gift from God-love and enjoy him." That's pretty much how I felt. Shocked, amazed, overwhelmed, overjoyed.
I knew that this precious baby had to be given the perfect name. It was imperative that his name have deep meaning. A perfect name for a perfect gift. I found a name I liked that's meaning is strong man of God and I gave him a middle name that means gift of God. His name suits him perfectly. He was sent by God in a miraculous way. I sometimes describe it as him falling out of the sky because that is almost how it feels. It's like a big white stork flew him down from Heaven and laid him in my arms. It was a magical experience that I did nothing to deserve but I sure am glad God chose me to be the mother of that little angel.
Curious Eyes and the Pain They Cause
As the mother of a child with a disability I am pretty laid back compared to other special needs parents I have met. I try to be understanding when everyone in the checkout lines turn and stare at my family when we enter a store. The children who frequently stop dead in their tracks with gaping wide mouths are smiled at as I quickly navigate Sweet G around their curious eyes.
I try to tell myself that they look because they are curious and because we are such beautiful people that they can't help becoming mesmerized by our striking good looks. Well, I can't even convince myself of that one but the point is that I really do try to put myself in the position of the lookie-lou in question and move on with my life. There are times, however, when I have an experience that throws me off balance and leaves me searching for direction. Today was one of those days.
We decided to take in a family movie this afternoon. Sweet G asked to go see Cars 2 and since that is something he never asks for we wanted to take him for some special family time. We bought our tickets before entering the theater. Having arrived a few minutes before the movie was going to start we decided to get in line for some refreshments. As we stood there in line my husband says you may want to take G and go find us some seats. Initially I said, "Why, it doesn't look that crowded to me." J replied, "Well, it wouldn't hurt because all the handicapped section may get full." Not wanting to disagree, I turned and headed with Sweet G toward the theater.
As I rolled G into the theater and into the main aisle where the handicapped seating is located I couldn't believe my eyes. Every seat was taken by able bodied people. There wasn't one disabled person in sight. Oh, my blood started to boil. I just stood there with my mouth agape in disbelief. There was a woman around my age in the first set of seats with her young child. An older lady sat with a young girl in the second set of seats. The third set of seats held an elderly man with a small boy, and two wild unattended boys took up the last set of seats. I stood there for a good minute just looking at them all. Remember that I said earlier that we don't enter anywhere unnoticed. They all, with the exception of the two boys on the far end of the theater looked straight at me and Sweet G.
What do you think happened? Did the woman my age with a little boy close to G's age offer their seats? Maybe you think it was the older woman and her grand-daughter who surrendered their seats. Surely it must have been the elderly man who nobly sacrificed his seats for a child in a wheel chair. Maybe the young boys took notice and offered their seats. Who do you think did the right thing and moved out of the handicapped seating so a disabled child could sit in the seating reserved for individuals with special needs like him? If your answer was none of the above you are a winner! Not one person moved from their seat. I stood there amazed at the lack of concern those three adults showed by their complacency. They sat there looking at me and G until I turned and walked back out of the theater.
I returned to the theater with an usher who asked the first lady and her son if they minded moving. The woman very pleasantly said, "Oh, of course I don't." She quickly moved to another set of seats and I was able to set down and position Sweet G's chair beside me.
I could have asked someone as easily as the usher. I'm not sure why I didn't. The only reason I can think of is that I was so shocked by the lack of consideration those people displayed by their actions to first sit in a section intended for those with special needs, and secondly their choice to stare at us without offering to move.
As I talked to my husband tonight I described my desire to teach Sweet G to be kind and retain a Godly character yet be able to diplomatically stand up for himself. There are some things in life he will simply have to endure and the gawking eyes of strangers is one of them. I struggle with how to handle those situations. I have a hot Irish temper and once angered my tongue often speaks fire and death. I don't want to be a bad example to my Sweet G. He has a precious spirit that I don't want to corrupt but at the same time I don't want a lifetime of being treated rudely to cause him to become discouraged.
Life is a constant balancing act that leaves me struggling to decide the right things to do. I feel so unequipped to parent my sons, to be the wife my precious husband deserves, and to trust and forgive those who offend me. It isn't like I don't know what I need to do. I need to turn to my Lord and ask for guidance. Instead I wait until I have extinguished all my earthly ways of handling things and am at my breaking point. But you know what? That's okay. He understands, He knows me more intimately than I know myself and He loves me (adores me) in spite of all my imperfections. I just need to remember that sometimes blessings come as raindrops. It is then that I run to the shelter of my Saviors arms and there that I find answers and peace.
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I try to tell myself that they look because they are curious and because we are such beautiful people that they can't help becoming mesmerized by our striking good looks. Well, I can't even convince myself of that one but the point is that I really do try to put myself in the position of the lookie-lou in question and move on with my life. There are times, however, when I have an experience that throws me off balance and leaves me searching for direction. Today was one of those days.
We decided to take in a family movie this afternoon. Sweet G asked to go see Cars 2 and since that is something he never asks for we wanted to take him for some special family time. We bought our tickets before entering the theater. Having arrived a few minutes before the movie was going to start we decided to get in line for some refreshments. As we stood there in line my husband says you may want to take G and go find us some seats. Initially I said, "Why, it doesn't look that crowded to me." J replied, "Well, it wouldn't hurt because all the handicapped section may get full." Not wanting to disagree, I turned and headed with Sweet G toward the theater.
As I rolled G into the theater and into the main aisle where the handicapped seating is located I couldn't believe my eyes. Every seat was taken by able bodied people. There wasn't one disabled person in sight. Oh, my blood started to boil. I just stood there with my mouth agape in disbelief. There was a woman around my age in the first set of seats with her young child. An older lady sat with a young girl in the second set of seats. The third set of seats held an elderly man with a small boy, and two wild unattended boys took up the last set of seats. I stood there for a good minute just looking at them all. Remember that I said earlier that we don't enter anywhere unnoticed. They all, with the exception of the two boys on the far end of the theater looked straight at me and Sweet G.
What do you think happened? Did the woman my age with a little boy close to G's age offer their seats? Maybe you think it was the older woman and her grand-daughter who surrendered their seats. Surely it must have been the elderly man who nobly sacrificed his seats for a child in a wheel chair. Maybe the young boys took notice and offered their seats. Who do you think did the right thing and moved out of the handicapped seating so a disabled child could sit in the seating reserved for individuals with special needs like him? If your answer was none of the above you are a winner! Not one person moved from their seat. I stood there amazed at the lack of concern those three adults showed by their complacency. They sat there looking at me and G until I turned and walked back out of the theater.
I returned to the theater with an usher who asked the first lady and her son if they minded moving. The woman very pleasantly said, "Oh, of course I don't." She quickly moved to another set of seats and I was able to set down and position Sweet G's chair beside me.
I could have asked someone as easily as the usher. I'm not sure why I didn't. The only reason I can think of is that I was so shocked by the lack of consideration those people displayed by their actions to first sit in a section intended for those with special needs, and secondly their choice to stare at us without offering to move.
As I talked to my husband tonight I described my desire to teach Sweet G to be kind and retain a Godly character yet be able to diplomatically stand up for himself. There are some things in life he will simply have to endure and the gawking eyes of strangers is one of them. I struggle with how to handle those situations. I have a hot Irish temper and once angered my tongue often speaks fire and death. I don't want to be a bad example to my Sweet G. He has a precious spirit that I don't want to corrupt but at the same time I don't want a lifetime of being treated rudely to cause him to become discouraged.
Life is a constant balancing act that leaves me struggling to decide the right things to do. I feel so unequipped to parent my sons, to be the wife my precious husband deserves, and to trust and forgive those who offend me. It isn't like I don't know what I need to do. I need to turn to my Lord and ask for guidance. Instead I wait until I have extinguished all my earthly ways of handling things and am at my breaking point. But you know what? That's okay. He understands, He knows me more intimately than I know myself and He loves me (adores me) in spite of all my imperfections. I just need to remember that sometimes blessings come as raindrops. It is then that I run to the shelter of my Saviors arms and there that I find answers and peace.
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Curious Eyes and the Pain They Cause
As the mother of a child with a disability I am pretty laid back compared to other special needs parents I have met. I try to be understanding when everyone in the checkout lines turn and stare at my family when we enter a store. The children who frequently stop dead in their tracks with gaping wide mouths are smiled at as I quickly navigate Sweet G around their curious eyes.
I try to tell myself that they look because they are curious and because we are such beautiful people that they can't help becoming mesmerized by our striking good looks. Well, I can't even convince myself of that one but the point is that I really do try to put myself in the position of the lookie-lou in question and move on with my life. There are times, however, when I have an experience that throws me off balance and leaves me searching for direction. Today was one of those days.
We decided to take in a family movie this afternoon. Sweet G asked to go see Cars 2 and since that is something he never asks for we wanted to take him for some special family time. We bought our tickets before entering the theater. Having arrived a few minutes before the movie was going to start we decided to get in line for some refreshments. As we stood there in line my husband says you may want to take G and go find us some seats. Initially I said, "Why, it doesn't look that crowded to me." J replied, "Well, it wouldn't hurt because all the handicapped section may get full." Not wanting to disagree, I turned and headed with Sweet G toward the theater.
As I rolled G into the theater and into the main aisle where the handicapped seating is located I couldn't believe my eyes. Every seat was taken by able bodied people. There wasn't one disabled person in sight. Oh, my blood started to boil. I just stood there with my mouth agape in disbelief. There was a woman around my age in the first set of seats with her young child. An older lady sat with a young girl in the second set of seats. The third set of seats held an elderly man with a small boy, and two wild unattended boys took up the last set of seats. I stood there for a good minute just looking at them all. Remember that I said earlier that we don't enter anywhere unnoticed. They all, with the exception of the two boys on the far end of the theater looked straight at me and Sweet G.
What do you think happened? Did the woman my age with a little boy close to G's age offer their seats? Maybe you think it was the older woman and her grand-daughter who surrendered their seats. Surely it must have been the elderly man who nobly sacrificed his seats for a child in a wheel chair. Maybe the young boys took notice and offered their seats. Who do you think did the right thing and moved out of the handicapped seating so a disabled child could sit in the seating reserved for individuals with special needs like him? If your answer was none of the above you are a winner! Not one person moved from their seat. I stood there amazed at the lack of concern those three adults showed by their complacency. They sat there looking at me and G until I turned and walked back out of the theater.
I returned to the theater with an usher who asked the first lady and her son if they minded moving. The woman very pleasantly said, "Oh, of course I don't." She quickly moved to another set of seats and I was able to set down and position Sweet G's chair beside me.
I could have asked someone as easily as the usher. I'm not sure why I didn't. The only reason I can think of is that I was so shocked by the lack of consideration those people displayed by their actions to first sit in a section intended for those with special needs, and secondly their choice to stare at us without offering to move.
As I talked to my husband tonight I described my desire to teach Sweet G to be kind and retain a Godly character yet be able to diplomatically stand up for himself. There are some things in life he will simply have to endure and the gawking eyes of strangers is one of them. I struggle with how to handle those situations. I have a hot Irish temper and once angered my tongue often speaks fire and death. I don't want to be a bad example to my Sweet G. He has a precious spirit that I don't want to corrupt but at the same time I don't want a lifetime of being treated rudely to cause him to become discouraged.
Life is a constant balancing act that leaves me struggling to decide the right things to do. I feel so unequipped to parent my sons, to be the wife my precious husband deserves, and to trust and forgive those who offend me. It isn't like I don't know what I need to do. I need to turn to my Lord and ask for guidance. Instead I wait until I have extinguished all my earthly ways of handling things and am at my breaking point. But you know what? That's okay. He understands, He knows me more intimately than I know myself and He loves me (adores me) in spite of all my imperfections. I just need to remember that sometimes blessings come as raindrops. It is then that I run to the shelter of my Saviors arms and there that I find answers and peace.
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I try to tell myself that they look because they are curious and because we are such beautiful people that they can't help becoming mesmerized by our striking good looks. Well, I can't even convince myself of that one but the point is that I really do try to put myself in the position of the lookie-lou in question and move on with my life. There are times, however, when I have an experience that throws me off balance and leaves me searching for direction. Today was one of those days.
We decided to take in a family movie this afternoon. Sweet G asked to go see Cars 2 and since that is something he never asks for we wanted to take him for some special family time. We bought our tickets before entering the theater. Having arrived a few minutes before the movie was going to start we decided to get in line for some refreshments. As we stood there in line my husband says you may want to take G and go find us some seats. Initially I said, "Why, it doesn't look that crowded to me." J replied, "Well, it wouldn't hurt because all the handicapped section may get full." Not wanting to disagree, I turned and headed with Sweet G toward the theater.
As I rolled G into the theater and into the main aisle where the handicapped seating is located I couldn't believe my eyes. Every seat was taken by able bodied people. There wasn't one disabled person in sight. Oh, my blood started to boil. I just stood there with my mouth agape in disbelief. There was a woman around my age in the first set of seats with her young child. An older lady sat with a young girl in the second set of seats. The third set of seats held an elderly man with a small boy, and two wild unattended boys took up the last set of seats. I stood there for a good minute just looking at them all. Remember that I said earlier that we don't enter anywhere unnoticed. They all, with the exception of the two boys on the far end of the theater looked straight at me and Sweet G.
What do you think happened? Did the woman my age with a little boy close to G's age offer their seats? Maybe you think it was the older woman and her grand-daughter who surrendered their seats. Surely it must have been the elderly man who nobly sacrificed his seats for a child in a wheel chair. Maybe the young boys took notice and offered their seats. Who do you think did the right thing and moved out of the handicapped seating so a disabled child could sit in the seating reserved for individuals with special needs like him? If your answer was none of the above you are a winner! Not one person moved from their seat. I stood there amazed at the lack of concern those three adults showed by their complacency. They sat there looking at me and G until I turned and walked back out of the theater.
I returned to the theater with an usher who asked the first lady and her son if they minded moving. The woman very pleasantly said, "Oh, of course I don't." She quickly moved to another set of seats and I was able to set down and position Sweet G's chair beside me.
I could have asked someone as easily as the usher. I'm not sure why I didn't. The only reason I can think of is that I was so shocked by the lack of consideration those people displayed by their actions to first sit in a section intended for those with special needs, and secondly their choice to stare at us without offering to move.
As I talked to my husband tonight I described my desire to teach Sweet G to be kind and retain a Godly character yet be able to diplomatically stand up for himself. There are some things in life he will simply have to endure and the gawking eyes of strangers is one of them. I struggle with how to handle those situations. I have a hot Irish temper and once angered my tongue often speaks fire and death. I don't want to be a bad example to my Sweet G. He has a precious spirit that I don't want to corrupt but at the same time I don't want a lifetime of being treated rudely to cause him to become discouraged.
Life is a constant balancing act that leaves me struggling to decide the right things to do. I feel so unequipped to parent my sons, to be the wife my precious husband deserves, and to trust and forgive those who offend me. It isn't like I don't know what I need to do. I need to turn to my Lord and ask for guidance. Instead I wait until I have extinguished all my earthly ways of handling things and am at my breaking point. But you know what? That's okay. He understands, He knows me more intimately than I know myself and He loves me (adores me) in spite of all my imperfections. I just need to remember that sometimes blessings come as raindrops. It is then that I run to the shelter of my Saviors arms and there that I find answers and peace.
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Sunday, June 5, 2011
Fruit Ninja on the Prairie
I have been reading the Laura Ingles Wilder series of books to Sweet G. His love of all things electronic hinders his ability to comprehend a life without modern inventions. I continue trying to paint a clear picture of pioneer America for him but frankly I don't know if I will ever be successful. The very basic simple life pioneers lived is very foreign to someone living in the 21st century. It is hard to imagine life without electricity, phones (landlines and cells), stores within walking distance, or better yet Internet shopping and Fed Ex!
As I read to a child I often stop and ask questions to teach them good reading strategies. Last week we were reading the chapter Scream in the Night from Little House on the Prairie. The story was set in the log home of the Ingles family in the middle of the night. Everyone was suddenly awakened by a terrifying scream piercing the night air. Since the family was living in Indian country where there had been unrest at times they feared being attacked. The immediate thoughts of the parents was that their neighbors two miles away were being attacked or were in terrible trouble. Pa dressed and took his gun to go and find out what was happening. Ma told the girls to go to sleep and she got into bed but didn't go back to sleep but lay there listening.
This is where I stopped reading and asked, "G, why do you think Ma went back to bed but didn't go back to sleep?"
He thought for a second before saying, "Maybe she was watching a movie."
"No, remember G they didn't have electricity or a television. She wasn't watching a movie."
He thought some more and with a huge grin on his face he said, "Maybe she was playing a game."
"Now, G, who would play games in the middle of the night? Ma was not playing a game", I said.
"Well you play games in the middle of the night. Maybe Ma was playing Fruit Ninja like you do."
I have to say that although he was totally off base in his answer, his reasoning behind it was great! He simply related his answer to what he already knows. He lives in a world where Ma plays games in the middle of the night and takes naps in the middle of the day. Gadgets and gizmos fill his world until it is busting at the seams and he just can't quiet imagine a life without those things. Needless to say we still have some serious work before we have history mastered. So, I guess I will just keep trying to convince my funny little boy there was once a life without stand-up comedians, cable television, and iPad games for Moms to play in the middle of the night. ; )
As I read to a child I often stop and ask questions to teach them good reading strategies. Last week we were reading the chapter Scream in the Night from Little House on the Prairie. The story was set in the log home of the Ingles family in the middle of the night. Everyone was suddenly awakened by a terrifying scream piercing the night air. Since the family was living in Indian country where there had been unrest at times they feared being attacked. The immediate thoughts of the parents was that their neighbors two miles away were being attacked or were in terrible trouble. Pa dressed and took his gun to go and find out what was happening. Ma told the girls to go to sleep and she got into bed but didn't go back to sleep but lay there listening.
This is where I stopped reading and asked, "G, why do you think Ma went back to bed but didn't go back to sleep?"
He thought for a second before saying, "Maybe she was watching a movie."
"No, remember G they didn't have electricity or a television. She wasn't watching a movie."
He thought some more and with a huge grin on his face he said, "Maybe she was playing a game."
"Now, G, who would play games in the middle of the night? Ma was not playing a game", I said.
"Well you play games in the middle of the night. Maybe Ma was playing Fruit Ninja like you do."
I have to say that although he was totally off base in his answer, his reasoning behind it was great! He simply related his answer to what he already knows. He lives in a world where Ma plays games in the middle of the night and takes naps in the middle of the day. Gadgets and gizmos fill his world until it is busting at the seams and he just can't quiet imagine a life without those things. Needless to say we still have some serious work before we have history mastered. So, I guess I will just keep trying to convince my funny little boy there was once a life without stand-up comedians, cable television, and iPad games for Moms to play in the middle of the night. ; )
Fruit Ninja on the Prairie
I have been reading the Laura Ingles Wilder series of books to Sweet G. His love of all things electronic hinders his ability to comprehend a life without modern inventions. I continue trying to paint a clear picture of pioneer America for him but frankly I don't know if I will ever be successful. The very basic simple life pioneers lived is very foreign to someone living in the 21st century. It is hard to imagine life without electricity, phones (landlines and cells), stores within walking distance, or better yet Internet shopping and Fed Ex!
As I read to a child I often stop and ask questions to teach them good reading strategies. Last week we were reading the chapter Scream in the Night from Little House on the Prairie. The story was set in the log home of the Ingles family in the middle of the night. Everyone was suddenly awakened by a terrifying scream piercing the night air. Since the family was living in Indian country where there had been unrest at times they feared being attacked. The immediate thoughts of the parents was that their neighbors two miles away were being attacked or were in terrible trouble. Pa dressed and took his gun to go and find out what was happening. Ma told the girls to go to sleep and she got into bed but didn't go back to sleep but lay there listening.
This is where I stopped reading and asked, "G, why do you think Ma went back to bed but didn't go back to sleep?"
He thought for a second before saying, "Maybe she was watching a movie."
"No, remember G they didn't have electricity or a television. She wasn't watching a movie."
He thought some more and with a huge grin on his face he said, "Maybe she was playing a game."
"Now, G, who would play games in the middle of the night? Ma was not playing a game", I said.
"Well you play games in the middle of the night. Maybe Ma was playing Fruit Ninja like you do."
I have to say that although he was totally off base in his answer, his reasoning behind it was great! He simply related his answer to what he already knows. He lives in a world where Ma plays games in the middle of the night and takes naps in the middle of the day. Gadgets and gizmos fill his world until it is busting at the seams and he just can't quiet imagine a life without those things. Needless to say we still have some serious work before we have history mastered. So, I guess I will just keep trying to convince my funny little boy there was once a life without stand-up comedians, cable television, and iPad games for Moms to play in the middle of the night. ; )
As I read to a child I often stop and ask questions to teach them good reading strategies. Last week we were reading the chapter Scream in the Night from Little House on the Prairie. The story was set in the log home of the Ingles family in the middle of the night. Everyone was suddenly awakened by a terrifying scream piercing the night air. Since the family was living in Indian country where there had been unrest at times they feared being attacked. The immediate thoughts of the parents was that their neighbors two miles away were being attacked or were in terrible trouble. Pa dressed and took his gun to go and find out what was happening. Ma told the girls to go to sleep and she got into bed but didn't go back to sleep but lay there listening.
This is where I stopped reading and asked, "G, why do you think Ma went back to bed but didn't go back to sleep?"
He thought for a second before saying, "Maybe she was watching a movie."
"No, remember G they didn't have electricity or a television. She wasn't watching a movie."
He thought some more and with a huge grin on his face he said, "Maybe she was playing a game."
"Now, G, who would play games in the middle of the night? Ma was not playing a game", I said.
"Well you play games in the middle of the night. Maybe Ma was playing Fruit Ninja like you do."
I have to say that although he was totally off base in his answer, his reasoning behind it was great! He simply related his answer to what he already knows. He lives in a world where Ma plays games in the middle of the night and takes naps in the middle of the day. Gadgets and gizmos fill his world until it is busting at the seams and he just can't quiet imagine a life without those things. Needless to say we still have some serious work before we have history mastered. So, I guess I will just keep trying to convince my funny little boy there was once a life without stand-up comedians, cable television, and iPad games for Moms to play in the middle of the night. ; )
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