She's With Me (well in my case its He's With Me)

I saw this video on a blog I follow of a fellow mom with a special child. It perfectly explains the way a special needs parent feels. We don't want or need your praise or sympathy. We just want our children to be accepted.

Oh, how we love that boy. I will never figure out what I ever did to deserve such a precious gift, but I am so very happy that he's with me.

http://www.youtube.com/v/oj6GXVTAOiU&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0

She's With Me (well in my case its He's With Me)

I saw this video on a blog I follow of a fellow mom with a special child. It perfectly explains the way a special needs parent feels. We don't want or need your praise or sympathy. We just want our children to be accepted.

Oh, how we love that boy. I will never figure out what I ever did to deserve such a precious gift, but I am so very happy that he's with me.

Your Flight Has Been Diverted

G was truly sent by God to our family. If you don't know the story I will get around to blogging about it someday. It is a very wonderful story of God's faithfulness, love, and grace. G is a very special little boy. I have often said that he teaches me infinitely more than I teach him. I found these two poems which perfectly describe how I feel about him.
"Why I was Born" Author Unknown...

I was born to learn and love like everyone else. My body is imperfect, but my spirit needs no help. I was born to give to you, with open hand and heart. I'm the strongest soul you know, though I don't look the part.

I was born to teach you hope, faith, and patience, too. I came because no one else can do what I do. So the next time you think of me as broken, damaged, torn, know that I am here to lift you up...

That's why I was born.


WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

"I thank God every day that He rerouted my flight to Holland." ~Andrea Norton~

Your Flight Has Been Diverted

G was truly sent by God to our family. If you don't know the story I will get around to blogging about it someday. It is a very wonderful story of God's faithfulness, love, and grace. G is a very special little boy. I have often said that he teaches me infinitely more than I teach him. I found these two poems which perfectly describe how I feel about him.
"Why I was Born" Author Unknown...

I was born to learn and love like everyone else. My body is imperfect, but my spirit needs no help. I was born to give to you, with open hand and heart. I'm the strongest soul you know, though I don't look the part.

I was born to teach you hope, faith, and patience, too. I came because no one else can do what I do. So the next time you think of me as broken, damaged, torn, know that I am here to lift you up...

That's why I was born.


WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

"I thank God every day that He rerouted my flight to Holland." ~Andrea Norton~

My Special Gift

G was truly sent by God to our family. If you don't know the story I will get around to blogging about it someday. It is a very wonderful story of God's faithfulness, love, and grace. G is a very special little boy. I have often said that he teaches me infinitely more than I teach him. I found these two poems which perfectly describe how I feel about him.

"Why I was Born" Author Unknown...

I was born to learn and love like everyone else. My body is imperfect, but my spirit needs no help. I was born to give to you, with open hand and heart. I'm the strongest soul you know, though I don't look the part.
I was born to teach you hope, faith, and patience, too. I came because no one else can do what I do. So the next time you think of me as broken, damaged, torn, know that I am here to lift you up...
That's why I was born.




WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

"I thank God every day that He rerouted my flight to Holland." ~Andrea Norton~

My Special Gift

G was truly sent by God to our family. If you don't know the story I will get around to blogging about it someday. It is a very wonderful story of God's faithfulness, love, and grace. G is a very special little boy. I have often said that he teaches me infinitely more than I teach him. I found these two poems which perfectly describe how I feel about him.

"Why I was Born" Author Unknown...

I was born to learn and love like everyone else. My body is imperfect, but my spirit needs no help. I was born to give to you, with open hand and heart. I'm the strongest soul you know, though I don't look the part.
I was born to teach you hope, faith, and patience, too. I came because no one else can do what I do. So the next time you think of me as broken, damaged, torn, know that I am here to lift you up...
That's why I was born.




WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

"I thank God every day that He rerouted my flight to Holland." ~Andrea Norton~

A Meal Fit For a Queen

Tonight, as is the norm these days, my husband fixed dinner. There was pork loin he had grilled last night left in the refrigerator along with some Spanish Rice I cooked a couple of days ago. He chopped a quick salad and voila, dinner.

As I sat working at my desk he presented me with this beautifully arranged dinner.

So, with Duck on a Bike serving as a placemat, I ate an  attractive, delicious, and satisfying meal prepared by my husband. He is truly the greatest husband in the entire world and I don't deserve all that he does for me. All I can offer as vidication for myself is that I love him with all my heart. He is my most precious possession. God blessed me greatly the day He sent Joey into my life. I don't even attempt to understand why God loves me enough to have given me such a perfect life. It is beyond my human understanding.

Joey has always accepted me (warts and all) without accusations, blame, or disapointment. He has never made me feel unloved, unaccepted, or unappreciated. There has only been love, acceptance, devotion, and respect. "My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies." Song of Solomon 2:16

So, Joey, if you read this I want to tell you once again that I love you more than life itself. You are the greatest gift I have ever received and I pray that I never have to live without you.

A Meal Fit For a Queen

Tonight, as is the norm these days, my husband fixed dinner. There was pork loin he had grilled last night left in the refrigerator along with some Spanish Rice I cooked a couple of days ago. He chopped a quick salad and voila, dinner.

As I sat working at my desk he presented me with this beautifully arranged dinner.

So, with Duck on a Bike serving as a placemat, I ate an  attractive, delicious, and satisfying meal prepared by my husband. He is truly the greatest husband in the entire world and I don't deserve all that he does for me. All I can offer as vidication for myself is that I love him with all my heart. He is my most precious possession. God blessed me greatly the day He sent Joey into my life. I don't even attempt to understand why God loves me enough to have given me such a perfect life. It is beyond my human understanding.

Joey has always accepted me (warts and all) without accusations, blame, or disapointment. He has never made me feel unloved, unaccepted, or unappreciated. There has only been love, acceptance, devotion, and respect. "My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies." Song of Solomon 2:16

So, Joey, if you read this I want to tell you once again that I love you more than life itself. You are the greatest gift I have ever received and I pray that I never have to live without you.

Fruit Loops

Today was the 100^th day of school. You might think, "big deal." Well in Kindergarten it is a very big deal. Kindergarteners celebrate the 100^th day of school like some people celebrate the 4^th of July. We popped 100 balloons, counted to 100, made hats with light bulbs that said, "I'm 100 days brighter", read The 100^th Day of School, sang Happy 100^th Day of School, ate a 100^th day of school cake, dressed up like 100 year old men and women, and the biggest project was the Fruit Loop necklace made by stringing 100 fruit loops on a piece of string.
It may not sound like a big thing, but believe me, being able to live and tell is like surviving a hurricane. Just imagine 16 five year olds with piles of fruit loops all around them. Fruit Loops are falling to the ground and getting pulverized into the floor. The air smells fruity delicious to the point of being nauseating. 16 little voices are counting out loud and every student is getting mad at their classmates because, "You are making me mess up. I can't count when you are talking so loud."
The instructions have been given: "Do not pick up your string of fruit loops when you finish stringing them. We will tie them for you so you don't drop all 100 of your fruit loops." We almost make it through the entire project when it happens. One little girl jumps to her feet proudly holding each end of her fruit loop string. The teacher says, "Don't drop it!" But alas, she speaks too late and 100 Fruit Loops scatter across the linoleum floor. One sad little face causes me to smile and I can't help but giggle. It was bound to happen, we all knew it would, it happens every year. So, the counting begins all over again. On the other side of the room sit four little ones who play by their own rules and march to the beat of their own drum. Three of the children have had assistance in correctly counting out all 100 of their Fruit Loops and instructed to gather them into one big pile and laced onto their string. A child who has been out of the room enters and I begin to explain the activity to her. She starts counting out her 10 sets of 10. I turn for a split second to tie a knot in the child's necklace who has worked diligently counting and stringing his cereal necklace. When I turn to check the progress of the child on my other side I look just in time to see her stretch across the table and reach into the pile of already counted Fruit Loops of another child. So once again the counting starts. These two children intermittently share Fruit Loops and string and unstring their necklaces. Finally one of them tires of the game she has been playing and decides she is finished with her necklace. "This is all I want on my necklace," she says as she holds a string of 15 Fruit Loops proudly into the air.
By this time I surrender to the madness and decide I "must" have a necklace of my own. This is an experience I hope I never forget. Although there were times I almost felt tears well up in my eyes, this experience was precious to me. I helped teach the students to count to 100 but like so many other times they taught me so much more. I learned that being a teacher can be the most rewarding experience if only you stop and enjoy the madness that is bound to occur, and never cease to love those precious children you have been blessed to teach. When I left school yesterday I smelled like and felt like a Fruit Loop. Today I look back at the experience and am very grateful that God blessed me with the experience.

Fruit Loops

Today was the 100^th day of school. You might think, "big deal." Well in Kindergarten it is a very big deal. Kindergarteners celebrate the 100^th day of school like some people celebrate the 4^th of July. We popped 100 balloons, counted to 100, made hats with light bulbs that said, "I'm 100 days brighter", read The 100^th Day of School, sang Happy 100^th Day of School, ate a 100^th day of school cake, dressed up like 100 year old men and women, and the biggest project was the Fruit Loop necklace made by stringing 100 fruit loops on a piece of string.
It may not sound like a big thing, but believe me, being able to live and tell is like surviving a hurricane. Just imagine 16 five year olds with piles of fruit loops all around them. Fruit Loops are falling to the ground and getting pulverized into the floor. The air smells fruity delicious to the point of being nauseating. 16 little voices are counting out loud and every student is getting mad at their classmates because, "You are making me mess up. I can't count when you are talking so loud."
The instructions have been given: "Do not pick up your string of fruit loops when you finish stringing them. We will tie them for you so you don't drop all 100 of your fruit loops." We almost make it through the entire project when it happens. One little girl jumps to her feet proudly holding each end of her fruit loop string. The teacher says, "Don't drop it!" But alas, she speaks too late and 100 Fruit Loops scatter across the linoleum floor. One sad little face causes me to smile and I can't help but giggle. It was bound to happen, we all knew it would, it happens every year. So, the counting begins all over again. On the other side of the room sit four little ones who play by their own rules and march to the beat of their own drum. Three of the children have had assistance in correctly counting out all 100 of their Fruit Loops and instructed to gather them into one big pile and laced onto their string. A child who has been out of the room enters and I begin to explain the activity to her. She starts counting out her 10 sets of 10. I turn for a split second to tie a knot in the child's necklace who has worked diligently counting and stringing his cereal necklace. When I turn to check the progress of the child on my other side I look just in time to see her stretch across the table and reach into the pile of already counted Fruit Loops of another child. So once again the counting starts. These two children intermittently share Fruit Loops and string and unstring their necklaces. Finally one of them tires of the game she has been playing and decides she is finished with her necklace. "This is all I want on my necklace," she says as she holds a string of 15 Fruit Loops proudly into the air.
By this time I surrender to the madness and decide I "must" have a necklace of my own. This is an experience I hope I never forget. Although there were times I almost felt tears well up in my eyes, this experience was precious to me. I helped teach the students to count to 100 but like so many other times they taught me so much more. I learned that being a teacher can be the most rewarding experience if only you stop and enjoy the madness that is bound to occur, and never cease to love those precious children you have been blessed to teach. When I left school yesterday I smelled like and felt like a Fruit Loop. Today I look back at the experience and am very grateful that God blessed me with the experience.

If Only I Had a Green Nose

Today my cooperative teacher read our class the book If Only I Had a Green Nose by Max Lucado. I have always loved his work especially his children's books based on Eli and his creation- the Wemmicks. For those of you who are not familiar with these books I will elaborate. The main character in this series is a wooden man named Punchinello. He is forever getting sidetracked and worrying about what the other Wemmicks think and forgetting that his maker, Eli's opinion is the only one that matters.

In this particular book Punchinello starts out in Eli's workshop. He and his two friends are looking out the window of the workshop at the scene in town below. The Wemmick's are all lined up waiting to get their noses painted green because it is the new fad. At first Punchinello and his friends think that what the other Wemmicks are doing is silly but in time they fall to the pressure to conform and they too end up with noses painted green.

They begin to walk around town with their noses high in the air. Not only does this make it impossible to see where they are going; it is also very painful. Those things don't change Punchinello's position on the importance of having a green nose like everyone else.

Soon green noses are out and in come red noses, followed by blue, yellow, purple, etc, you get the picture. One day Punchinello runs into a friend that reminds him how silly it is to change yourself to try and be like everyone else. Eli created each Wemmick with his own unique characteristics and those things are what make each of them special. Punchinello returns once again to Eli's workshop embarrassed for his foolishness. Eli lovingly begins to sand away all the layers of paint that Punchinello had applied to his nose. The sanding is painful but Punchinello knows that it is necessesary in order to once agian be exactly like Eli intended his creation to be.

This book made me think about all the times I have let myself become consumed with the latest fad and ignore the unique person that Christ created me to be. I may not have the perfect nose (even though I had plastic surgery), I don't have the perfect body (I like to eat and hate exercise), I let myself become obsessed with whatever catches my attention at the time (felt foods, etc), and I fail to go into the workshop of my maker and just sit down for a chat. I forget to spend time with the person who loves me more than anyone else. He loves me so much that He sings over me and I don't even consult Him when deciding what improvements I need. He designed me to worship Him, to praise Him, and that is the last thing that comes to mind on some days.

God help me to stay continually focused on You. Remind me to seek the things You want to do in me. Help me to become the person You want me to be. Fill me until my life overflows and Your spirit begins to splash out on everyone around me.

If Only I Had a Green Nose

Today my cooperative teacher read our class the book If Only I Had a Green Nose by Max Lucado. I have always loved his work especially his children's books based on Eli and his creation- the Wemmicks. For those of you who are not familiar with these books I will elaborate. The main character in this series is a wooden man named Punchinello. He is forever getting sidetracked and worrying about what the other Wemmicks think and forgetting that his maker, Eli's opinion is the only one that matters.

In this particular book Punchinello starts out in Eli's workshop. He and his two friends are looking out the window of the workshop at the scene in town below. The Wemmick's are all lined up waiting to get their noses painted green because it is the new fad. At first Punchinello and his friends think that what the other Wemmicks are doing is silly but in time they fall to the pressure to conform and they too end up with noses painted green.

They begin to walk around town with their noses high in the air. Not only does this make it impossible to see where they are going; it is also very painful. Those things don't change Punchinello's position on the importance of having a green nose like everyone else.

Soon green noses are out and in come red noses, followed by blue, yellow, purple, etc, you get the picture. One day Punchinello runs into a friend that reminds him how silly it is to change yourself to try and be like everyone else. Eli created each Wemmick with his own unique characteristics and those things are what make each of them special. Punchinello returns once again to Eli's workshop embarrassed for his foolishness. Eli lovingly begins to sand away all the layers of paint that Punchinello had applied to his nose. The sanding is painful but Punchinello knows that it is necessesary in order to once agian be exactly like Eli intended his creation to be.

This book made me think about all the times I have let myself become consumed with the latest fad and ignore the unique person that Christ created me to be. I may not have the perfect nose (even though I had plastic surgery), I don't have the perfect body (I like to eat and hate exercise), I let myself become obsessed with whatever catches my attention at the time (felt foods, etc), and I fail to go into the workshop of my maker and just sit down for a chat. I forget to spend time with the person who loves me more than anyone else. He loves me so much that He sings over me and I don't even consult Him when deciding what improvements I need. He designed me to worship Him, to praise Him, and that is the last thing that comes to mind on some days.

God help me to stay continually focused on You. Remind me to seek the things You want to do in me. Help me to become the person You want me to be. Fill me until my life overflows and Your spirit begins to splash out on everyone around me.

Remembering the True Clown in the Family

Our entry into the world of clowning began way before either of us put on the first trace of make-up. It all began in earnest 18 years ago after the birth of our oldest son, T. He has always been a true cut up. I miss the days when I found him wearing gloves on his feet, pieces of paper hanging out of his mouth like Mr. Wilson in Dennis the Menace, or fully dressed in his redneck attire complete with "Bubba Teeth." He dressed this way so often when we first bought the rubber teeth that his mouth broke out in tiny blisters from an allergic reaction. He kept me continually entertained.

My blogs usually center around my newest clown G, but that is only because he is still young and saying funny things. T is the true clown in the family and has in fact been the one who has helped to give G his direction toward comedy.

It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day and forget to stop and remember who our children really are as people. My focus is much too often on how clean the house is or on getting everyone in bed before midnight. I fail to stop and enjoy the person that T is. He is busy with school, friends, a girlfriend, and work. I am busy with G, school, teaching, and trying to keep us from getting buried in a cluttered house. I hope that the next time I get so aggravated at my teenage son I stop and picture him looking like the photo below and instead of getting mad, laugh instead. I love you Trey.

Remembering the True Clown in the Family

Our entry into the world of clowning began way before either of us put on the first trace of make-up. It all began in earnest 18 years ago after the birth of our oldest son, T. He has always been a true cut up. I miss the days when I found him wearing gloves on his feet, pieces of paper hanging out of his mouth like Mr. Wilson in Dennis the Menace, or fully dressed in his redneck attire complete with "Bubba Teeth." He dressed this way so often when we first bought the rubber teeth that his mouth broke out in tiny blisters from an allergic reaction. He kept me continually entertained.

My blogs usually center around my newest clown G, but that is only because he is still young and saying funny things. T is the true clown in the family and has in fact been the one who has helped to give G his direction toward comedy.

It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day and forget to stop and remember who our children really are as people. My focus is much too often on how clean the house is or on getting everyone in bed before midnight. I fail to stop and enjoy the person that T is. He is busy with school, friends, a girlfriend, and work. I am busy with G, school, teaching, and trying to keep us from getting buried in a cluttered house. I hope that the next time I get so aggravated at my teenage son I stop and picture him looking like the photo below and instead of getting mad, laugh instead. I love you Trey.

If I Have Ever Needed You

Tonight as I reflect on my life and walk with Christ I am challenged to live my life with purpose. At some time in the past few years I  began stumbling through life following the routines that I allowed to creep into my daily existence. It is not like I have lived a life full of intentional sin, I have simply become busy and have committed many sins of ommision. I have neglected to look for God in the midst of my life. I have neglected my prayer life and have failed to spend time in God's Word.

As I write this blog I am listening to Casting Crowns and each song that I hear brings a refreshing new perspective into my heart. It has been raining for so long and I have failed to praise Him often enough while I wait on Him to calm the storm in my heart. He called me out and I turned away and today I realized how much I need Him now. I have seen that nobody falls in a day but it instead slowly let their walk with Christ fade. Casting Crowns says it perfectly in their song Slow Fade.

Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you’re thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see ~Casting Crowns~

This morning's church service was one I will never forget. I was reminded of what true worship looks like, what being sold out to Christ feels like, and the powerful way God can use us when we allow Him to fill us to the point that we are overflowing. God moved among His church and brought reconciliation, encouragement, and healing. It is my prayer that I will never be the same again, that I will continue to allow God to fill me with His love until He begins to splash out on those around me.

If I Have Ever Needed You

Tonight as I reflect on my life and walk with Christ I am challenged to live my life with purpose. At some time in the past few years I  began stumbling through life following the routines that I allowed to creep into my daily existence. It is not like I have lived a life full of intentional sin, I have simply become busy and have committed many sins of ommision. I have neglected to look for God in the midst of my life. I have neglected my prayer life and have failed to spend time in God's Word.

As I write this blog I am listening to Casting Crowns and each song that I hear brings a refreshing new perspective into my heart. It has been raining for so long and I have failed to praise Him often enough while I wait on Him to calm the storm in my heart. He called me out and I turned away and today I realized how much I need Him now. I have seen that nobody falls in a day but it instead slowly let their walk with Christ fade. Casting Crowns says it perfectly in their song Slow Fade.

Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you’re thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see ~Casting Crowns~

This morning's church service was one I will never forget. I was reminded of what true worship looks like, what being sold out to Christ feels like, and the powerful way God can use us when we allow Him to fill us to the point that we are overflowing. God moved among His church and brought reconciliation, encouragement, and healing. It is my prayer that I will never be the same again, that I will continue to allow God to fill me with His love until He begins to splash out on those around me.

Student Teaching

I started my teaching internship last week. This is what I have been working toward for the past three years and now it is finally here. The only downside to my placement is that I miss the companionship of my classmates. In the past we have been place in the same grade level and have on many occasions worked together on big grade level projects for our cooperative teachers, sat on the playground supervising students together, and eaten lunch together often. There was always the occasional chance meeting at the copy machine or the laminator. Those are high traffic areas in elementary schools and you are bound to have to wait in line on most occasions. We also had classes togther on days we weren't in our field experience so we saw each other often.

This semester we do have a seminar class that meets on Monday nights. So we will at least see each other then. The problem with that is we are all tired from working all day and the class doesn't seem like the kind of class with built in opportunities to work together. I am thrilled to be finished with all my courses, am in the midst of the most wonderful place in the world everyday (kindergarten), and am only about three and a half months from putting on my cap and gown and recieving my long awaited college diploma. For those things I am overflowing with joy.

At the same time I find myself mourning the loss of the college experience. The times we spent sitting in the student center laughing at the antics of our class clown, our experiences with some very diverse and sometimes excentric professors, and encouraging and supporting each other through difficult days are some of the things I find myself missing. Life has taught me that eventually I will miss every season of my life. It may not always seem like it at the time but someday I will look back and remember with fondness the things that once caused me stress. Although it may not seem like it to most people who know me, I have mellowed with age. I have learned to stop and enjoy the time and place that God has placed me in. That is not to say that I am perfect by any means but I do find myself seeing the glass half full more than I see it half empty.

Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. ~FerrisBueller~

Student Teaching

I started my teaching internship last week. This is what I have been working toward for the past three years and now it is finally here. The only downside to my placement is that I miss the companionship of my classmates. In the past we have been place in the same grade level and have on many occasions worked together on big grade level projects for our cooperative teachers, sat on the playground supervising students together, and eaten lunch together often. There was always the occasional chance meeting at the copy machine or the laminator. Those are high traffic areas in elementary schools and you are bound to have to wait in line on most occasions. We also had classes togther on days we weren't in our field experience so we saw each other often.

This semester we do have a seminar class that meets on Monday nights. So we will at least see each other then. The problem with that is we are all tired from working all day and the class doesn't seem like the kind of class with built in opportunities to work together. I am thrilled to be finished with all my courses, am in the midst of the most wonderful place in the world everyday (kindergarten), and am only about three and a half months from putting on my cap and gown and recieving my long awaited college diploma. For those things I am overflowing with joy.

At the same time I find myself mourning the loss of the college experience. The times we spent sitting in the student center laughing at the antics of our class clown, our experiences with some very diverse and sometimes excentric professors, and encouraging and supporting each other through difficult days are some of the things I find myself missing. Life has taught me that eventually I will miss every season of my life. It may not always seem like it at the time but someday I will look back and remember with fondness the things that once caused me stress. Although it may not seem like it to most people who know me, I have mellowed with age. I have learned to stop and enjoy the time and place that God has placed me in. That is not to say that I am perfect by any means but I do find myself seeing the glass half full more than I see it half empty.

Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. ~FerrisBueller~

Individuality

Today my Kindergarten class created a portrait of Martin Luther King, Jr. as part of our week long study on his life. We used construction paper and told the students what shapes to cut out of each sheet of different colored construction paper. Several students whined and complained that they couldn't cut an oval or that they didn't know how to cut eyes. They wanted a pattern to use to cut out because they were afraid of their ability to do the task well. After much praise and encouragement they made it through the project. The results were wonderful. Each portrait was different, just as the students who created them are. There was one whose ears were place high on Rev. Kings head which made the creation resemble a puppy dog. On has a long thin face with tiny ears that looks a lot like the works of Picaso.

These creations remind me of the individuality of my students. They each have their strengths and weaknesses that are unique to them individually. They are all beautiful in different ways, none more so than the others, just differnet. I pray that my students will embrace their individuality and will feel the love that I have for them and will gain confidence and pride in their uniqueness. I pray that God will use me to make a difference in their lives and that something I say or do will empact them and that they will carry that memory with them throughout life.

Individuality

Today my Kindergarten class created a portrait of Martin Luther King, Jr. as part of our week long study on his life. We used construction paper and told the students what shapes to cut out of each sheet of different colored construction paper. Several students whined and complained that they couldn't cut an oval or that they didn't know how to cut eyes. They wanted a pattern to use to cut out because they were afraid of their ability to do the task well. After much praise and encouragement they made it through the project. The results were wonderful. Each portrait was different, just as the students who created them are. There was one whose ears were place high on Rev. Kings head which made the creation resemble a puppy dog. On has a long thin face with tiny ears that looks a lot like the works of Picaso.

These creations remind me of the individuality of my students. They each have their strengths and weaknesses that are unique to them individually. They are all beautiful in different ways, none more so than the others, just differnet. I pray that my students will embrace their individuality and will feel the love that I have for them and will gain confidence and pride in their uniqueness. I pray that God will use me to make a difference in their lives and that something I say or do will empact them and that they will carry that memory with them throughout life.

Closure

For the past 5 1/2 years we have waited, searched, and longed for closure. We thought that a conviction would bring that closure into our lives. Today as I heard the news I had believed would give me the peace and closure I have searched for I found myself basically unchanged. I don't know if I will ever feel closure in this lifetime. I do know that I will never be able to fully accept or understand the events that brought me and so many others to the place that we are today. Over and over again I have found myself broken and asking why. Why did this devistation come into our lives?

I know that God is in control and has been through all of this. He has walked beside us guiding us through the darkness. He has carried us when we have been too exhausted to walk on our own. He has cradled us in His arms when we have been broken. He has caught every tear we have cried and has given us the strength and courage to face each day.

Although we will never understand, never know why, and never be the same again, we will make it through each day with the help of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. In his sermon How God Uses Suffering, John MacArthur says,

"When you go through the sufferings of life God has a purpose. His purpose is to manifest the character of your spiritual life to everybody around you and to you as well. His purpose is to humble you because of His multitude of blessings poured out upon you and His purpose is to draw you into the intimacy of His glorious presence."

I pray that we have lived a life worthy of the call God has placed on our lives. It is my desire to show the love of Christ to those around me. I know that I fall short of that goal everyday because if I had reached that place of intimacy and perfection my work here on earth would be done and I would be seated at the feet of Jesus with those who have already gone before us.

I searched through some old Bible studies and found notes listing these verses as being Thad's favorites. He was a man that radiated Jesus in everything he did and I am thankful and proud that I was blessed to have known him and benefit from his teaching. I think these verses speak perfectly about the place we find ourselves and I know that Thad would want us to live and cling to these verses.

Philippians 3:10-12

10[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[a]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]11That if possible I may attain to the [[b]spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].


12Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own.  AMP


John 10:10

10The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it [a]overflows). AMP

In loving memory of Thad John Glenn Reynolds

Closure

For the past 5 1/2 years we have waited, searched, and longed for closure. We thought that a conviction would bring that closure into our lives. Today as I heard the news I had believed would give me the peace and closure I have searched for I found myself basically unchanged. I don't know if I will ever feel closure in this lifetime. I do know that I will never be able to fully accept or understand the events that brought me and so many others to the place that we are today. Over and over again I have found myself broken and asking why. Why did this devistation come into our lives?

I know that God is in control and has been through all of this. He has walked beside us guiding us through the darkness. He has carried us when we have been too exhausted to walk on our own. He has cradled us in His arms when we have been broken. He has caught every tear we have cried and has given us the strength and courage to face each day.

Although we will never understand, never know why, and never be the same again, we will make it through each day with the help of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. In his sermon How God Uses Suffering, John MacArthur says,

"When you go through the sufferings of life God has a purpose. His purpose is to manifest the character of your spiritual life to everybody around you and to you as well. His purpose is to humble you because of His multitude of blessings poured out upon you and His purpose is to draw you into the intimacy of His glorious presence."

I pray that we have lived a life worthy of the call God has placed on our lives. It is my desire to show the love of Christ to those around me. I know that I fall short of that goal everyday because if I had reached that place of intimacy and perfection my work here on earth would be done and I would be seated at the feet of Jesus with those who have already gone before us.

I searched through some old Bible studies and found notes listing these verses as being Thad's favorites. He was a man that radiated Jesus in everything he did and I am thankful and proud that I was blessed to have known him and benefit from his teaching. I think these verses speak perfectly about the place we find ourselves and I know that Thad would want us to live and cling to these verses.

Philippians 3:10-12

10[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[a]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]11That if possible I may attain to the [[b]spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].


12Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own.  AMP


John 10:10

10The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it [a]overflows). AMP

In loving memory of Thad John Glenn Reynolds

It's Not What You Say. . . It's How You Say It

One thing I have found myself saying over and over to my oldest son is, "It's not always what you say, it's how you say it." T was blessed with my big mouth. He has always had an opinion on everything and has never felt the need to restrain himself in expressing it. There were times when he was small that I required him to tell me or someone else that he was sorry. He would always say it, but you could definitely tell his heart wasn't in it. That is when I would go into my well rehearsed speech about not only what we say is important, it is how you say it. You can tell someone you love them in a tone that reveals the anger you truly feel at the moment. It is like the well used phrase, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

My youngest son also has the gift of gab but his comes across in a totally different way than mine and T's does. He is quite the flatterer. Last night we were laying on the sofa together, getting ready for our ritual of camping out on Friday nights when he turned to me and in a sweet romantic tone said, I'm going to give you a cup of salt and pepper." I asked him why and he replied, "because it will make you beautiful in my eyes." What he says doesn't always make sense but he says it with such conviction that you know it means something wonderful to him and he means it with all of his heart.

Each of us have individual gifts given to us by God. If we are not careful satan will twist those gifts just as he does everything else. He does not create anything new but steals from God and perverts the things God intends for good. It is my prayer that I will see the things that satan tries to pervert for his use and that I will be wary of every trap he has set in my path.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.     ~Psalm 19:14 KJV~

It's Not What You Say. . . It's How You Say It

One thing I have found myself saying over and over to my oldest son is, "It's not always what you say, it's how you say it." T was blessed with my big mouth. He has always had an opinion on everything and has never felt the need to restrain himself in expressing it. There were times when he was small that I required him to tell me or someone else that he was sorry. He would always say it, but you could definitely tell his heart wasn't in it. That is when I would go into my well rehearsed speech about not only what we say is important, it is how you say it. You can tell someone you love them in a tone that reveals the anger you truly feel at the moment. It is like the well used phrase, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

My youngest son also has the gift of gab but his comes across in a totally different way than mine and T's does. He is quite the flatterer. Last night we were laying on the sofa together, getting ready for our ritual of camping out on Friday nights when he turned to me and in a sweet romantic tone said, I'm going to give you a cup of salt and pepper." I asked him why and he replied, "because it will make you beautiful in my eyes." What he says doesn't always make sense but he says it with such conviction that you know it means something wonderful to him and he means it with all of his heart.

Each of us have individual gifts given to us by God. If we are not careful satan will twist those gifts just as he does everything else. He does not create anything new but steals from God and perverts the things God intends for good. It is my prayer that I will see the things that satan tries to pervert for his use and that I will be wary of every trap he has set in my path.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.     ~Psalm 19:14 KJV~