Today Sweet G had therapy. We were asked to come early so he could be seen by the equipment man. I sometimes forget how special G really is and just how many people work to see him succeed but I was reminded of those things today.
It is time for a new walker since G is on the last notch of his current walker. The ability to walk with the aide of a walker is a huge accomplishment for G and will give him a little independence but there is nothing little about that boy. He has a huge heart, an enormous appetite for life, and a personality and strength that are immeasurable. Okay is not good enough for Sweet G. That is not only my opinion but it is the opinion of anyone who has the gift of being introduced to G. I see it on the faces of strangers as they overhear his comments, in the tears of choir members as he lifts his hands in worship.
Today he sat and chatted with his buddy Brian the equipment salesman like a little man. They discussed Ultimate Fighting and G burst into uncontrollable laughter when Brian said, "I love UFC but I can't watch it. My wife won't let me." Without missing a beat and with absolute abandon G replied, "Even I can watch Ultimate Fighting." Brian sat patiently talking to G enjoying the conversation as much as G until another child required his attention. I know that Brian loves G (other kids too) because besides ordering a walker for G he is also ordering G some hemi-walkers to try. He most likely won't be able to get paid for both and will let the profit from one cover the loss on the other. This is not uncommon. Like many others who invest in G, Brian wants to see G reach his highest potential even if it requires self sacrifice.
While sitting in the lobby waiting for his therapy to begin G announces that he is going to hang out with Mr. Dave until Miss Ami is ready. I told him that he couldn't go bother Mr. Dave because he was working. About that time the receptionist walks in and says, "Hey, what's up dude?" G says, "Well, I really want to go hang out with Mr. Dave." I again remind him that Mr. Dave is working. A minute later the receptionist sticks her head back in the door and says, "Mr. Dave says come on back." That was all he needed to hear and immediately rolls himself to Mr. Dave's office with speed and ease he doesn't often display. So, for twenty minutes he sits in the office having man time with his buddy Mr. Dave watching clips on the Internet.
G lovingly calls his physical therapist the mean one or the hard one. She definitely has the hardest job of all his therapists. He gives her the most resistance but she doesn't seem to notice. She's been with him longer than any other therapist and she is tough when she needs to be because she loves him. During therapy we are discussing G's progress and the possibility for his future. Miss Ami looked at me and said, "I want him to accomplish as much as he possibly can. I want to see him walk across the stage to graduate. I really believe he can do it."
What a blessing God gave our family when he sent Sweet G. Little did we know how that three pound bundle of joy was going to transform our lives and the lives of so many others. I sit in amazement as I see how God uses that little boy.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Trip to the Desert and Back
A few weeks ago God began a change in me. I started to feel His gentle tug on my heart and faintly hear the sound of His voice calling me. There has been a drought in my Christian walk. One that I couldn't seem to find my way out of. To be totally honest, I didn't try very hard to look for a way out of the dry and desolate place I found myself. I became content to sit there and slowly dehydrate to the point that my spiritual cup was down to a few drops instead of overflowing as God says it should be.
The first thing God told me was my husband needed to spend time bonding with other Godly men. You may say, "I thought you said God called you. Now you say He wants your husband to do something." The answer is simple. I crave my husband's time and attention which are in very short supply. He works two jobs which total 55+ hours a week, not including commute time. He doesn't get home until after 9:00 every week night except Fridays and works half a day on Saturday. I need time to take off my Mommy, teacher, cook, playmate, caretaker hat every once in a while. Having a child with special needs means that I take every step my child takes and sometimes I get burned out but God showed me that my husband gets tired and discouraged too. That is why God spoke to me. He wanted to guide me on the path to being a better wife to my husband. He asked me to put my husband's needs above my own.
The second thing God reminded me of was that it is my responsibility to teach my child about God. Our family needs to be in God's house learning His Word. It is my duty to take Sweet G whether he wants to go or understands the importance it holds.
Step three, I started reading my Bible and being more purposeful in my walk with Christ. For the first time in a long time God's Word was fresh and alive to me. I was getting it, growing. Then I started feeling the familiar sting of satan's fiery darts. Someone verbally attacked me on a social site over my view of an issue. My son misunderstood a couple of comments I made. My mother seems to think I am a vile and unfeeling monster because I disagree with the family on a very delicate family issue. Everywhere I turn it seems someone is misunderstanding what I say or questioning why I see things in a different way than they do.
I finally broke down in tears tonight questioning why this is all happening to me. The answer came through the post of a fellow blogger. She wrote about parenting. She reminded me that sometimes a child asks for something when in reality it isn't good for them. Her children prefer the cardboard boxed macaroni and cheese with the fake powdered cheese over her homemade nutritious Mac-and-cheese. They don't understand that she sacrifices much more time and energy to make the dish from scratch because she loves them and wants the best for them. As my Heavenly Father, God will not settle for the easy Mac way of life. It is not good enough for me, His beloved child. Even if it is hard to swallow and I'd be much more pleased with the instant heat and serve version He patiently gives me what I really need.
My prayer has been for God to lead me out of that dry place I've been sitting. As we walk the sand is hot and makes my steps unsteady at times. Walking in hot dry sand is difficult but it's the only way to get out of a desert. The amazing thing is every now and then I take a peek inside my cup and see that instead of becoming empty it's gradually getting fuller. Every step I take and each sip of water I drink fills my cup a little more.
The first thing God told me was my husband needed to spend time bonding with other Godly men. You may say, "I thought you said God called you. Now you say He wants your husband to do something." The answer is simple. I crave my husband's time and attention which are in very short supply. He works two jobs which total 55+ hours a week, not including commute time. He doesn't get home until after 9:00 every week night except Fridays and works half a day on Saturday. I need time to take off my Mommy, teacher, cook, playmate, caretaker hat every once in a while. Having a child with special needs means that I take every step my child takes and sometimes I get burned out but God showed me that my husband gets tired and discouraged too. That is why God spoke to me. He wanted to guide me on the path to being a better wife to my husband. He asked me to put my husband's needs above my own.
The second thing God reminded me of was that it is my responsibility to teach my child about God. Our family needs to be in God's house learning His Word. It is my duty to take Sweet G whether he wants to go or understands the importance it holds.
Step three, I started reading my Bible and being more purposeful in my walk with Christ. For the first time in a long time God's Word was fresh and alive to me. I was getting it, growing. Then I started feeling the familiar sting of satan's fiery darts. Someone verbally attacked me on a social site over my view of an issue. My son misunderstood a couple of comments I made. My mother seems to think I am a vile and unfeeling monster because I disagree with the family on a very delicate family issue. Everywhere I turn it seems someone is misunderstanding what I say or questioning why I see things in a different way than they do.
I finally broke down in tears tonight questioning why this is all happening to me. The answer came through the post of a fellow blogger. She wrote about parenting. She reminded me that sometimes a child asks for something when in reality it isn't good for them. Her children prefer the cardboard boxed macaroni and cheese with the fake powdered cheese over her homemade nutritious Mac-and-cheese. They don't understand that she sacrifices much more time and energy to make the dish from scratch because she loves them and wants the best for them. As my Heavenly Father, God will not settle for the easy Mac way of life. It is not good enough for me, His beloved child. Even if it is hard to swallow and I'd be much more pleased with the instant heat and serve version He patiently gives me what I really need.
My prayer has been for God to lead me out of that dry place I've been sitting. As we walk the sand is hot and makes my steps unsteady at times. Walking in hot dry sand is difficult but it's the only way to get out of a desert. The amazing thing is every now and then I take a peek inside my cup and see that instead of becoming empty it's gradually getting fuller. Every step I take and each sip of water I drink fills my cup a little more.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
SPARKS
Parenting a special needs child is a very different experience than parenting a "typical" developing child. There are pros and I suppose there are also cons for each. Being a special needs parent has given me more time with my child. He is content to sit and talk to me because his disability has prevented him from achieving independence. If there is a con side to that it would be that I also lost my independence. Free time is something that I am not often afforded. My hobbies have become things of the past. Days of painting and cross-stitching are far behind me. I do manage to fit a book or two into my schedule now and then and have recently taken up gardening after an eight year sabbatical.
I recently realized that our family needs to be in church on Wednesday nights. For years we were involved with the AWANA program in some form or another but stopped serving and attending on Wednesdays due to overload. I was in school full time, my husband works lots of hours, and Sweet G absolutely hated going to AWANA club so we called a time out that has lasted way too long.
After hearing that our men's ministry was going to do a Bible study on the new "Courageous" movie coming out in October, I felt lead to encourage my husband to take the opportunity to get involved and take some time for himself. That was three weeks ago.
While hubby is in his Bible study Sweet G and I go to Sparks. The first week G was in his walker so we opted to not attend game time because I feared the walk would be to much for G. Last week G had a headache so we left early. This week, however, we put G in his chair and went to game time. I wasn't sure how he'd like it since his disability makes playing the games very challenging but we tried it anyway.
Tonight was kickball night and the game leaders were unsure how to handle the situation. A friend of mine asked if G could roll the ball to the other kids and I said, "Sure, he can roll a ball." Sweet G was so excited when I rolled him to the pitchers position he giggled, "I'm just like the Braves, I'm gonna play ball."
It was planned for G to pitch for both teams. Problem is we forgot to include G in the decision. When the teams started to switch places G said, "Come on Momma, now I'm going to kick that ball." Not knowing how we were going to accomplish that task, yet not daring to discourage his I can do anything attitude we wheeled up to the plate. I tried to convince him to let me swing his chair and hit the ball but he said, "No, Momma, I'm going to kick it." So, I moved his feet plates out of the way and helped him to relax his excited legs enough to bend them. The ball was rolled and he kicked the ball (with a little help from Momma).
I am not nearly as young as I once was and why God chose to give me a special needs child later in life I don't know but I can tell you that my knees don't spring up the way they once did. In my slip on sandals and creaky knees I managed to get up and run to first base with my G. The pitcher caught the ball and threw it at us hitting G's chair in the side but we just kept on running!
At one point a little boy who doesn't know G asked, "What happened to you?" G replied in a tone that reflected his impatience, "I have CP!" It was quite comical to me but made me realize that practicing answering people's questions might be something to work on. We forget that people don't always know about disability and some ask what's wrong with G. It is easy for us to think, "Duh, you don't know what AFOs are? What's wrong with you?"
G's favorite part of the night came when a little girl kicked the ball and hit me in the leg. He just thought it was hilarious. The best thing is that my little boy likes SPARKS, loved game time, and is excited about going each week." Oh, I almost forgot that he volunteered me to make cupcakes for the entire club next week! He wanted to know what other food his Momma could cook and bring! Little stinker! I know what I'll be doing next Wednesday while he's in therapy, baking cupcakes and putting on my tennis shoes! I'm not running those bases in my slip-ons again!
I recently realized that our family needs to be in church on Wednesday nights. For years we were involved with the AWANA program in some form or another but stopped serving and attending on Wednesdays due to overload. I was in school full time, my husband works lots of hours, and Sweet G absolutely hated going to AWANA club so we called a time out that has lasted way too long.
After hearing that our men's ministry was going to do a Bible study on the new "Courageous" movie coming out in October, I felt lead to encourage my husband to take the opportunity to get involved and take some time for himself. That was three weeks ago.
While hubby is in his Bible study Sweet G and I go to Sparks. The first week G was in his walker so we opted to not attend game time because I feared the walk would be to much for G. Last week G had a headache so we left early. This week, however, we put G in his chair and went to game time. I wasn't sure how he'd like it since his disability makes playing the games very challenging but we tried it anyway.
Tonight was kickball night and the game leaders were unsure how to handle the situation. A friend of mine asked if G could roll the ball to the other kids and I said, "Sure, he can roll a ball." Sweet G was so excited when I rolled him to the pitchers position he giggled, "I'm just like the Braves, I'm gonna play ball."
It was planned for G to pitch for both teams. Problem is we forgot to include G in the decision. When the teams started to switch places G said, "Come on Momma, now I'm going to kick that ball." Not knowing how we were going to accomplish that task, yet not daring to discourage his I can do anything attitude we wheeled up to the plate. I tried to convince him to let me swing his chair and hit the ball but he said, "No, Momma, I'm going to kick it." So, I moved his feet plates out of the way and helped him to relax his excited legs enough to bend them. The ball was rolled and he kicked the ball (with a little help from Momma).
I am not nearly as young as I once was and why God chose to give me a special needs child later in life I don't know but I can tell you that my knees don't spring up the way they once did. In my slip on sandals and creaky knees I managed to get up and run to first base with my G. The pitcher caught the ball and threw it at us hitting G's chair in the side but we just kept on running!
At one point a little boy who doesn't know G asked, "What happened to you?" G replied in a tone that reflected his impatience, "I have CP!" It was quite comical to me but made me realize that practicing answering people's questions might be something to work on. We forget that people don't always know about disability and some ask what's wrong with G. It is easy for us to think, "Duh, you don't know what AFOs are? What's wrong with you?"
G's favorite part of the night came when a little girl kicked the ball and hit me in the leg. He just thought it was hilarious. The best thing is that my little boy likes SPARKS, loved game time, and is excited about going each week." Oh, I almost forgot that he volunteered me to make cupcakes for the entire club next week! He wanted to know what other food his Momma could cook and bring! Little stinker! I know what I'll be doing next Wednesday while he's in therapy, baking cupcakes and putting on my tennis shoes! I'm not running those bases in my slip-ons again!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
My Friend
Some of my favorite memories from childhood are of a person I never met. She was my friend, yet she was a stranger. I knew about her family, her hobbies, and her day to day life. I could confide my most precious feelings with her with the confidence that she would never betray me. I can still remember everything she ever said to me. You may say that is impossible but I assure you that I can because I can hold them in my hands through the letters she wrote to me. She was my pen pal.
I still have her letters tucked away in my closet. The very first one she sent me was written on strawberry stationary. The paper still holds a small amount of the strawberry fragrance it once was infused with. That scent reminds me of Elaine.
Somehow we lost contact with each other during the entrance to our teen years. I often wondered what happened to her and felt certain that I would never find out but the wonderful technology of our world gave me the ability to do what I thought was impossible. The Internet and Facebook reunited me with my friend. I was able to find out about the woman the little girl became and was looking forward to learning more but it was not to be.
Shortly after I found her on Facebook she was diagnosed with an aggressive type of brain tumor. I was deleted from her Facebook account and lost contact with her again. Thinking that maybe she accidentally unfriended me I sent another friend request. I never received a response. It has been several months since I heard from her so tonight I searched for her again. I so hoped to find her well on her way to recovery but instead I found her obituary.
It is strange how someone can affect your life. We never saw each other face to face. I never heard her voice but her words changed me. Through her life I learned what it would be like to ride a subway in New York and live in a city that afforded you the opportunity to walk to the library. Her life and mine were a contrast of city life and country life for a little girl.
She grew up to become a nurse and served our country during Desert Storm. She loved horses and dogs, appreciated pretty stationary and wanted to buy it even though nobody writes letters anymore. She was a daughter, sister, wife, and friend. Trips to my mailbox on warm summer days will always remind me of my childhood and bring back fond memories of my pen pal.
Rest in Peace, Elaine.
Your Pen Pal,
Andrea
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