Double Standards

Notice: The following post contains language that may be offensive to some people. I apologize if you are offended by my use of language and I use it only in quoting the words of others.

This morning the radio personality, Moby in the Morning, used some inappropriate language while the microphone was unintentionally left on without his realizing it. Although I myself choose to eliminate those words from my vocabulary, I must admit that sometimes I have been known to slip and say them. I'm just keeping it real. I am not perfect and I sometimes make choices that I feel are wrong; as a human being I am flawed. I am a sinner, saved by Grace.

The apostle Paul says it best in Romans chapter 7.

 What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

^17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

^21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

²⁴I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

²⁵The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

I have been so upset over the way the radio station has chosen to deal with this situation. They have temporarily suspended the Moby in the Morning show. My husband and I have had several discussions about it throughout the evening and as we were riding in the car tonight listening to South107 my husband brought up the fact that several songs we had heard in our very brief time in the car contained the same kind of language that Moby is being disciplined for. The following is an email that I sent to the management of South107. It is my hope that those of you who read this will consider my words before condemning Mr. Moby.

To Whom it may concern:

I was in the car with my family just a few minutes ago and my husband and I were discussing the issue with Moby. While making the 6 mile trip to Wal-Mart and back we heard several songs played on your station with offensive language. Why is it okay for you, a family oriented radio station, to allow these songs to be played multiple times on a daily basis? These are not slips of the tongue. The words these artists say were intentionally put into those lyrics, rehearsed, edited, produced and played by every one of your disc jockeys. Here is a short list of songs and the offensive words they contain. Don’t be hypocritical and hold Moby (who accidentally said curse words over the radio) to a different standard than the one you hold yourself and these artists.

Toby Keith to say hell,

Toby Keith to say he’ll put a boot in your ass,

Montgomery Gentry to say hell yeah,

Jason Aldean to say screw you,

Tim McGraw to say son of a bitch,

Kellie Pickler say damn,

Gretchen Wilson (hell yeah)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Miranda Lambert (bitch, damn, hell)

How 'Bout You Eric Church (ass)

Down in Mississippi (Up to No Good) Sugarland (***)

Drunker than Me Trent Tomlinson (damn)

Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares) Travis Tritt (damn)

Johnny Cash Jason Aldean (screw you, ***)

Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You Kellie Pickler (damn)

Between the River and Me- Tim McGraw (son of a bitch)

No Damn Good- Gary Allan

Hell on the Heart- Eric Church

Ain't Killed Me Yet- Eric Church (hell, damn)

Lotta Boot Left to Fill- Eric Church (hell, damn)

I Could Kick Your Ass- Justin Moore

TOES by Zac Brown Band (ass in the sand)

THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA by Charlie Daniels Band (son of a bitch)

MY GIVE A (DAMN'S) BUSTED by Jo Dee Messina

Kiss My Country Ass by Rhett Atkins

Kick My Ass (Big & Rich)

Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy (Big & Rich)

Love Me Like My Dog Does- Billy Currington (bitch)

I look forward to seeing how this issue is resolved. I think you owe Moby a big apology. Yeah, baby!

A concerned listener,

Andrea Norton

Just a thought, before we go throwing stones at others we should take a look at our own choices. If Moby's language offended you I am surprised that you listen to country music at all. Just something you may need to think about. Now, can I get a Yeah, Baby?

*If you can think of any songs I left out feel free to leave me a list of then in the comment box.

Double Standards

Notice: The following post contains language that may be offensive to some people. I apologize if you are offended by my use of language and I use it only in quoting the words of others.

 

This morning the radio personality, Moby in the Morning, used some inappropriate language while the microphone was unintentionally left on without his realizing it. Although I myself choose to eliminate those words from my vocabulary, I must admit that sometimes I have been known to slip and say them. I'm just keeping it real. I am not perfect and I sometimes make choices that I feel are wrong; as a human being I am flawed. I am a sinner, saved by Grace. 

The apostle Paul says it best in Romans chapter 7.

 What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

^17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

^21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

²⁴I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

²⁵The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

I have been so upset over the way the radio station has chosen to deal with this situation. They have temporarily suspended the Moby in the Morning show. My husband and I have had several discussions about it throughout the evening and as we were riding in the car tonight listening to South107 my husband brought up the fact that several songs we had heard in our very brief time in the car contained the same kind of language that Moby is being disciplined for. The following is an email that I sent to the management of South107. It is my hope that those of you who read this will consider my words before condemning Mr. Moby.

To Whom it may concern:

I was in the car with my family just a few minutes ago and my husband and I were discussing the issue with Moby. While making the 6 mile trip to Wal-Mart and back we heard several songs played on your station with offensive language. Why is it okay for you, a family oriented radio station, to allow these songs to be played multiple times on a daily basis? These are not slips of the tongue. The words these artists say were intentionally put into those lyrics, rehearsed, edited, produced and played by every one of your disc jockeys. Here is a short list of songs and the offensive words they contain. Don’t be hypocritical and hold Moby (who accidentally said curse words over the radio) to a different standard than the one you hold yourself and these artists.

Toby Keith to say hell,

Toby Keith to say he’ll put a boot in your ass,

Montgomery Gentry to say hell yeah,

Jason Aldean to say screw you,

Tim McGraw to say son of a bitch,

Kellie Pickler say damn,

Gretchen Wilson (hell yeah)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Miranda Lambert (bitch, damn, hell)

How 'Bout You Eric Church (ass)

Down in Mississippi (Up to No Good)

Sugarland (***) Drunker than Me Trent Tomlinson (damn)

Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares) Travis Tritt (damn)

Johnny Cash Jason Aldean (screw you, ***)

Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You Kellie Pickler (damn)

Between the River and Me- Tim McGraw (son of a bitch)

No Damn Good- Gary Allan

Hell on the Heart- Eric Church

Ain't Killed Me Yet- Eric Church (hell, damn)

Lotta Boot Left to Fill- Eric Church (hell, damn)

I Could Kick Your Ass- Justin Moore

TOES by Zac Brown Band (ass in the sand)

THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA by Charlie Daniels Band (son of a bitch)

MY GIVE A (DAMN'S) BUSTED by Jo Dee Messina

Kiss My Country Ass by Rhett Atkins

Kick My Ass (Big & Rich)

Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy (Big & Rich)

Love Me Like My Dog Does- Billy Currington (bitch)

 

I look forward to seeing how this issue is resolved. I think you owe Moby a big apology. Yeah, baby!

 

A concerned listener,

Andrea Norton

Just a thought, before we go throwing stones at others we should take a look at ourself.

A Valentine for Ewe

My newest favorite blogger is The Middlest Sister! I love her creativity. She represents everyday life in a funny, yet realistic way. A must read!

Soul Stealer

I sit on the back row,
showing up because I felt it was the right thing to do/
they insist I sit in the front,
A spectacle to all the guests
Fighting tears but
It isn’t any use.
They are stronger.
He enters , my stomach churns
The other witnesses don't notice her insincerity
I see through her smile.
Dressed in green taffeta
as if at a prom.
She scurries down the aisle.
Fat bulging, breasts hardly hidden
beneath a ruffled neckline.
My son says, Miss Piggy
I laugh, he's right
Dad stands in front
reciting prayers to a pagan god.
Hypocrite
You've turned your back on God.
I am silent.
It is useless
She the soul stealer,
has him now.

Miss Piggy is my stepmom

I arrive and sit on the back pew

Just hoping I will make it through the ceremony.

showing up because I felt it was the right thing to do

Someone comes and insists I sit on the front row

A spectacle for all the guests

I try to fight the tears

It is no use

They are stronger than I

He enters and my stomach turns

I can't believe he is doing this

She marches down the isle

Not everyone sees her insincerity 

But I see through her fake smiles

Dressed in green taffeta

As if she's at a prom

Fat bulging, breasts barely contained beneath a ruffled neckline

My son says she looks like Miss Piggy

I laugh because he's right

Dad stands in front of me reciting native American wedding vows

It is all I can do to keep from screaming hypocrit

Youve turned your back on God.

But I am silent.

It is useless

She already has his soul.

 

Silent Movies

Sweet G has a new favorite activity. It all started a couple of days ago when someone, who isn't me, let him watch the beginning of an episode of the World's Dumbest Criminals. After a short viewing and several curse words it was decided that the show might not be appropriate. I, however, did not witness this event and I was coerced into watching said episode under the guise, "Daddy watched it with me yesterday."

After a short viewing and several curse words Mommy decided that  this show is definitely not appropriate. I told G that it makes Jesus sad when we hear things that are not nice. The language was the only offensive part and Sweet G wanted to watch it so badly that I told him he could watch it if he muted the sound. I did this thinking he would not enjoy watching anything without sound. Once again he surprised me. He watched it all afternoon.

Today he started asking if he could watch stand up comedy on his iPod if he watched it without sound. I assured G that stand up comedy is not funny without sound but I could not convince him. I figured he would try it and come to the conclusion that Mommy is right. Wrong! He watched it all afternoon "buetid" (muted in G talk). I mean really, how much fun can it be to watch a person stand on stage not hearing a word they say?

Later in the afternoon G discovered the closed captioning button on some of the videos he was watching. "Look Momma, what is my iPod doing? I like watching it like this! It makes Jesus happy when we watch stand up comedy 'buetid'."

"That isn't exactly what I said, G. I said it makes him sad when we watch things that are bad. It also makes Him sad when we read the closed captioning of bad shows. Do not turn the closed captioning back on. It is wrong to hear bad things and it is wrong to read bad things."

He can't read well enough to read everything they were saying as fast as it appeared on the screen but you never can tell with that boy. I just wonder, what will he come up with next?

Thirty-four Smooshed

A few years ago I reached the magic age in a woman's life when her doctor sends her to the Breast Center. If you keep the right mindset the experience can be quite comical. Breast exams and mammograms are very important and I do encourage women to have their yearly exams. I just want you to know that it really isn't that bad if you keep an open mind.

February is the month for my boobs to get their yearly glamour shots. In fact, I had my appointment today. The breast center that I used moved recently into a new building and it is beautiful and impressive.

I have a wonderful family doctor that must really think a lot of me because last year he started ordering me an extra treat to go along with my photo session. Before they escorted me to the photo studio I am given a thorough massage in another room. Too bad it's not a full body massage, if you know what I mean. They say that they can find lumps sooner during the "Clinical Breast Exam" than they can with the mammogram. If your doctor hasn't ordered you to have a clinical breast exam you need to ask him to. I really think it helps. It's kinda like stretching before you exercise, it just gets everything all loosened up.

After my fifteen minute massage (given by a woman I only met last year) I am told to put my robe on over the beauteous cape they provided me with so we can head to the torture chamber. Of course that's not what the call it but I did notice they have added a guard since last year. She sits in the back lobby under the pretense that she is there to serve you snacks. I wasn't so sure about those snacks and I kept a good eye on Gerty the guard just in case I decided to make a break for it.

After a few minutes of waiting another stranger comes and takes me to the chamber. She has the torture device ready and waiting for its next victim patient. Before I knew what was happening I was slammed up against that cold metal machine and had it in a bear hug. I was tugged and twisted into positions I never imagined. "Face a little to the left, raise your left arm as high as you can, now tilt your head back and twist your neck around and look at the wall behind you." "Okay, now you are going to feel a little pressure," she says as she stepped on a hydraulic pedal. If that wasn't tight enough she gives a couple of twists to another knob to crank it down a little more.

You know, the more I think about it the more I believe there is more to boob sagging and age. Tatas stop being so perky around the age of forty, exactly the same year you have your first mammogram!

Update: After writing this post and prior to publishing it I received the results of my mammogram. There was a change since last year so they wanted me to come back and have a diagnostic mammogram (even more fun than a normal one). I had it done this morning, the radiologists read them before they let me leave, and everything is fine.

I originally wrote this because a fellow blogger wrote about her mammogram experience and I thought it made for a funny story. I didn't know if I would publish this story or keep it for myself but after my return visit I decided my experience might remind someone how important yearly mammograms are. I am blessed that everything is fine. There were other women that didn't get to leave with the same results as mine.

The Hour Disability Didn't Exist

It was an unusually warm January day. The world was bright and beautiful. It felt much more like springtime than it did winter. A little boy climbed a hill using his walker, a constant reminder of his disability. As I climbed the hill beside him I had no idea that a miracle was waiting for us at the top?

You see, there was an enchanted object waiting for us to arrive. Most kids take these magical possessions for granted, often leaving them out in the rain or lying in the grass where they drop them to lay forgotten until dad mows the lawn. Those kids don't see the magic of the object, to them it's just a common thing, something everybody has. Sweet G and I know that there is nothing ordinary about this thing because we know that the one waiting for us has the ability to make disability totally disappear.

Sweet G approached the item with the aid of his walker but once he turned loose and was safely seated, his disability faded away. It not only faded away for Sweet G, it disappeared from the consciousness of everyone on that hilltop. For an hour Sweet G was just a normal kid. My husband and I were just typical parents. We witnessed something that I had given up hope of G ever being able to experience.

You are probably wondering what was waiting for us on the hill that day. It was a bicycle, not a regular bicycle but a magical one. Someone special provided a hand cycle for children at Infinity Children Services to use. I have no idea who they are but I owe them a huge thank you because when he was on that bike something mystical happened. As he put his hands on the handgrips and started to pedal, he broke away from the bonds of his disability. 

We spent the next hour running back and forth in the parking lot on top of the hill laughing, cheering and forgetting that disability exists. For an hour Sweet G literally pushed his therapist aside and said, "I've got this. I don't need you." Giggles filled the air as my little boy sped back and forth in a small parking lot on a magical bicycle that has the ability to make disability disappear. For an hour he was simply a little boy having a normal experience with his parents.

Sweet G's passion for life outshines the darkness of his disability. He inspires me to overcome the challenges I face with dignity and grace. Sweet G has life figured out. He knows the secret to living a full and abundant life regardless of his circumstances. The world would be a better place if we were all a little more like my G. If a miracle cure was found today that would forever erase every trace of G's disability, I'm not sure I'd want him to receive it. However, I would like for G to have one of those magic hand cycles so that when ever he wanted we could make his disability disappear for an hour or two. ; )